Dealing with Pet Loss
A Practical Look at Coping with the Loss of a Beloved Pet
The loss of an animal is not really regarded as a major trauma, though attitudes may be gradually changing. For me, personally, it's reached the stage where I'm more inclined to keep the distress of losing a pet to myself, apart from telling a handful of people, such is the often indifferent or apathetic response. But saying nothing, because you're scared of saying anything, isn't being a great friend. Ignorance isn't bliss, but at least you can find out who your friends are.
Everyone has a subtly different reaction to grief. Sadness, of course, but grief can be immediate or more gradual. It's important not to bottle up your emotions, even if you feel you can only let go in private. It's also a good idea to talk about your loss to someone sympathetic. A few kind words do make a difference. If someone has suffered loss - person or animal, then I make a point of reacting to that, and not wimping out by saying nothing. It's nothing to boast about, it's just common, human decency.
Keep Busy
Keeping busy is one very important way of helping oneself through grief. You should give yourself time to remember, too. Sometimes you will be frustrated because you can't remember certain things about your pet. But this is normal, because you are trying too hard. Many people may also feel guilt, but this is normal, too. Fretting about not doing enough is really proving our love.
Luckily, we live in an age where it's easy to have many images of our pets through digital photos and videos. It can be therapeutic to go through the happy memories. The definition of bitter sweet if you like. You can also put up an online memorial to a beloved pet at sites like Rainbows Bridge [www.rainbowbridge.com/].
The loss of a family pet can help a family become stronger. The mutual feeling of loss should be a common bond. Helping each other through a sad time will also help each member of the family - both when giving and receiving love and support.
There should be no set time period as to when you will feel better. Allow yourself to grieve naturally, without bowing down to what other people may say.
Finally, pat yourself on the back for giving your pet a wonderful life. So many animals have a life of misery. You can be thankful for having them, but they would have felt thankful for having you.
Published by Paul Rance
Paul Rance is the co-founder, with Andrew Bruce, of small UK publishing company, Peace & Freedom Press, which began publishing in 1985. Paul founded the booksmusicfilmstv.com website in 2005. View profile
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10 Comments
Post a CommentThis article was wonderful comfort just now after losing Marcus. Thank you!
Hi%2C%0D%0A%0D%0AJust read your article%2C Thanks. I%27ve had a parrot escape Wednesday%2C he was like my best mate%2C he%27d eat off my plate%2C he%27d sit on my shoulder in the bath%2C when ever I was on the laptop%2C which he hated with a passion he%27d stand on the keys and get in the way%2C all things that used to annoy me at the time and get mad with him but things I look back now and make me smile. I know he was alive friday morning because he was making a nuisance of hmself flying and screeching at a nearby golf course%2C but i can%27t stop feeling he should be in our house safe%2C warm%2C watching X factor with us%2C instead in a dark cold tree%2C hungry%2C thirsty%2C tired and scared
Hi,
Just read your article, Thanks. I've had a parrot escape Wednesday, he was like my best mate, he'd eat off my plate, he'd sit on my shoulder in the bath, when ever I was on the laptop, which he hated with a passion he'd stand on the keys and get in the way, all things that used to annoy me at the time and get mad with him but things I look back now and make me smile. I know he was alive friday morning because he was making a nuisance of hmself flying and screeching at a nearby golf course, but i can't stop feeling he should be in our house safe, warm, watching X factor with us, instead in a dark cold tree, hungry, thirsty, tired and scared
Compassionate article and so sensitive to the pet owner who lost a friend! Well stated! :)
My sweet girl is almost 12...old for a shepherd and I dread the day. Heartfelt article.
I agree with your guidance here. I like the idea of allowing yourself the time grieve without allowing others to influence your extremely personal process.
The death of a pet is devastating. We've been through it several times and it never gets any easier.
I totally agree with you. The loss of a pet is very emotionally draining.
I had my cats for 18 years, and it was devastating for me when they died. Likewise when my brother's dog that my parents took in when he died had to be put down. This link will take you to the story of my brother's dog. I named it "My Beloved MacBeth," because that is how my brother referred to "Beth," as we called her, in his Will.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/739851/my_beloved_macbeth.html?cat=43
I find that most people don't want to say much about loss no matter if it is a pet or a person - no one in this day and age knows what to say - Life has changed so much that people have changed and other things are more important than others and their problems or situations.