Dealing with Post-Infant Adoption Depression

You can go through a wide range of emotions in the process of adopting a child, especially an infant -- from excitement to frustration to anxiety to elation. While waiting for a child to be legally your own, you tend to build up a fantasy of how you envision your new life with your newly - adopted baby. But when that moment arrives, one usually becomes overwhelmed with the emotional adjustments that need to be made and end up feeling detached from the child rather than feel a sense of closeness. This typically results in feelings of guilt and even depression. Here are a few tips that can hopefully help you cope with the emotional stress of relating to a newly - adopted infant.

· Remember that this feeling of guilt or depression is only temporary. Don't feel too bad if you can't seem to instantly make a connection with your adopted baby. Keep in mind that several parents and their newborns don't necessarily feel that bond right away. Developing a strong attachment can take time and you and your adopted child have your whole lives to work on it! Think positive and in the long run you will find yourself starting to enjoy adoptive parenthood.

· Share your feelings with someone you can trust, or someone who you feel can understand what you're going through. You will only feel more isolated if you keep all your negative feelings to yourself. It is understandable that you might feel ashamed admitting that you are not happy with your newfound adoptive parenthood. You might also feel guilty confessing that you do not feel an attachment to your adopted baby. But there might be other people around you who have also experienced the same thing even with their biological children. Perhaps there might be a friend with an open mind who can help you sort through your feelings of post - adoption depression. It would also be a good idea to look for an adoptive parents' support group in you area. Whatever feelings of depression you are going through, you don't have to go through it alone. Being a new adoptive parent is stressful as much as it is rewarding. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. You don't have to go through this ordeal by yourself.

· Keep trying to strengthen the sense of attachment between you and your infant. Your feelings of guilt and depression shouldn't discourage you or even make you feel more distant from your baby. Work hard to gain the baby's trust. You are not the only one going through a stressful period in life. Infants, young as they are, have very keen senses. When they were separated from their natural parents, they had to adjust to changes too. Research has shown that babies can recognize their mother's voice a few minutes after they are born. They also easily become familiar with the mother's smell and the rhythm of her heartbeat. So it is highly possible that babies can tell the difference between their natural parents and their adoptive parents. You must help your baby get used to you. Make him/her feel that they can trust you and that you can be relied on for their safety and well - being. Below are a few suggestions that just might do the trick.

1. Be sensitive to your baby's needs. Be familiar with their body language. Learn how to read when they are hungry for example. Be responsive to their physical and emotional cues.

2. Be generous with demonstrations of physical affection. Eye contact, kissing, touching, and cuddling encourages a flow of positive feelings between the two of you. Smile at them often. Be quick to comfort them when they cry. Soon enough you will easily be able to develop a sense of closeness with your baby.

3. Let the child get used to your presence. Sing to them, recite poems, and play games. Let the infant get familiar with the sound of your voice and your rhythms. Try to discover what does and doesn't make him/her comfortable.

Just remember to be patient. A great parent - child relationship doesn't grow overnight. It could take months before you finally feel at ease with each other. Be creative in finding ways to strengthen your bond. With time, you will find that all your hard work has paid off. Then you can begin to truly experience the joys of being an adoptive parent.