Dealing with Separation Anxiety in Preschool Children

Early childhood educators often have to deal with children who manifest some or much separation anxiety during the first days of schools. You know the drill: clinging to mother's legs, sobbing for a large part of the day, refusing to enter the school, dragging mom back home, and more.

The following tips might provide some help with the difficult cases, as well as with children who might experience regular orientation difficulties.

1. Invite mothers of new preschoolers to come see the school a few weeks before the year actually begins. The mothers could then tell their children all about it, discussing what the classroom looks like, which toys will be available to play with, what the teacher is like, etc. thus preparing them for the first day.

2. In smaller towns or communities, teachers like to go visit the children in their own homes before the school year begins. Children obviously will be more comfortable on their own turf, and when they encounter the teacher in school she will not be a total stranger.

3. If you come across a child who displays excess shyness or attachment to his parents during house visits, you might want to take him to school one day and let him 'help' set up the room, thus allowing the child to familiarize himself with the new environment.

4. Preschools run well on schedules, but it is best to be flexible during the first days of school. Let the children have plenty of play time, permitting them to get acquainted with each other and the room structure.

5. You might want to cut the first days short, sending the kids home after a few hours…

6. It's important to define rules and barriers during the first days of school. Be clear as to what is allowed
or not in your school. Most homes have basic rules too. This will provide the children with some stability.

7. Update the parents. Write short letters during the first weeks, notifying the parents on their child's absorption or lack thereof and making sure to let them know how the daily schedule works.

Possible problem cases:

Children from families in conflict often have a harder time separating and adjusting because of the tension back home (absent parent, bickering, etc). Sometimes these children are absorbed easily, only to start displaying problems later on in the school year (more crying in the morning, sadness, concentration issues). Some say the same for families in which one parent travels often (good 'daddy's home' days, bad 'mommy's mad' or 'is daddy ever coming back?' days…)

On the other hand, children from large families sometimes have trouble adjusting to the school schedule, because at home they have 'many mothers' who direct him in different ways.

Children from homes where the figure of authority changes much too often will sometimes cling to the teacher, or follow particular children around, seeking stability.

After a few months, most children should be settled for the most part. Problematic cases that last long should probably be referred to a specialist.