Dear God Letter

Jesus taught us not to keep treasure on Earth, but to keep it in Heaven. This is indeed what I have done for many, many years. I hope the treasure kept in Heaven is compounding at a marvelous rate of return.

Please God, let me withdraw the dividends to pay for all the bills. As you know, living without any earthly treasure is very difficult at the moment. Do transfer the dividends to my earthly bank account as soon as possible, and as much as possible.

Since I am still living on Earth, and not likely to go to Heaven anytime soon. I do not need a big fat bank account in Heaven at the moment. I promise to keep on accumulating treasure in Heaven in the future. Meanwhile, a fat bank account on Earth will keep me very happy.

In case you are not willing to do so, please remember how you had blessed the stubborn Israelites in the past. During the 40 years in the wilderness, you had provided food for them. Their clothing and shoes were not worn out for 40 years.

I am not a greedy person, as you well aware. However, I do plead with you to be fair to me. Just provide food for me and my family for 10 years will do. Make our shoes, handbags, clothing, car, computer, fridge, TV, telephone, mobile phones, air conditioner, fans and other necessities to last 10 years. I'm sure you will agree that compare to 40 years of blessings for material things, 10 years is really a reasonable short period of time.

Please also recall that you had given the Promised Land to the Israelites free of charge. They did not have to pay a single cent for the houses, cities and land. They did not have to worry about mortgages for the house they owned.

Do be fair, dear God. We also need a house to live. But we need to pay for mortgages for 30 years. Anytime we default, the bank will come and chase us away from our house. I am not a greedy person, dear God, I don't expect that you give me a house free of charge. Do help to pay for half the housing loan. The remaining burden will not be too hard to bear then.

Dear God, I love what you did to King Nebuchadnezzar. He was really arrogant and filthy rich. He thought he is really that smart to build the great Babylon, forgetting that it was you who had created Heaven and Earth. How nice that you chased him away to live in the wild and eat grass like oxen for seven years.

Please, dear God, punish those big bad greedy people who caused this subprime crisis. You know who they are. They really are lechers, sucking up all the money, bankrupted the companies they worked for. Still they are not satisfied. After begging the taxpayers' money to help their companies, they greedily want to pocket the money. Do chase them away, make them eat grass, cockroaches, rats and whatever pests in the cities.

I think seven years is too long a period. Just punish them for 3 years will do. In case they do not repent like King Nebuchadnezzar did, you can always sentence them to another 3 years. I'm sure the government will be very happy with the arrangement. The folks living in the cities will also be very happy to be rid of pests.

Dear God, do continue to bless us spiritually and materially. At the present moment, more material blessings are preferred.

This letter is forwarded to you through your son, and our Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen.