Dear Housekeeping

I noticed the envelope you left out so prominently displayed. You know, the one that says "Tips Appreciated" on it, sitting there on the desk where I could hardly miss it. It's the one I chuckled at before I ripped it in two and threw it away.

One of my first jobs out of High School was at a hotel cleaning rooms in housekeeping, not a motel, a hotel, a 5 star hotel in the heart of downtown Los Angeles. For any Angelinos reading this, it's the round place at the corner of 5^th and Flower with the exterior glass elevators. $$$$$

I used to ride the bus two hours one way into downtown, lace up my skates and skated the last six blocks to work; this was back in 1982 PR (pre-rollerblade). Did I mention I worked graveyard shift so started work at 11 at night. Skating the six blocks to work through downtown LA at 11 at night, it could be anything from an interesting to a downright scary experience, let me tell you, especially for a kid that grew up in the valley.

What did I do, I cleaned rooms, at least until they figured out that someone almost 6' tall takes just a bit longer to reach everything low and after 8 hours, this adds up to too much extra time. But let me tell you what I learned during that time. People do not leave tips just because you're making minimum wage. You walked in, applied for the job and agreed to work for whatever the hotel offered. Customers have absolutely zero obligations to leave you anything.

That said, I like to leave tips for work well done. I tip waiters, room service, housekeeping, heck I've even tipped the tow truck driver before. Why do I tip, because I saw an extra effort the person serving me put in and I appreciated it. This morning I asked for something at a little roadside diner, something that they were going to have to make special just for me. There was no, "Well if we really have to...", there was no problem, they were happy to accommodate my request. Breakfast was $7.02 with tax, I left a two dollar tip, this despite the OJ that seemed more water than juice and did almost nothing to alleviate the low blood sugar shakes I was having. Not including the tax that was about a 30% tip, just because they delivered service with a smile and no, the waitress was not some blond supermodel!

Back to your envelope. I already contributed once, remember the other day, the ten attached to the note that said please keep that disgusting comforter off my bed. I saw that episode of Frontline (I think it was Frontline) where they told us that you only wash those filthy things once or twice a year. Just what I want, the debris of 179 other peoples sweat, dirt and illicit lovemaking (is it still considered that when it's purchased?) for me to deal with. Take that disgusting thing and stuff it back in that little room at the end of the hall. While you're at it, see if there are any working lamps in there, two of the three in my room don't work. Oh yea, you might want to grab the vacuum while you're there because all the trash that was under my bed when I arrived a week ago is still there!

Am I being unreasonable? Anybody, anybody, please speak up and let me know. Major hotel chain charging a hundred a night, you'd think things would be clean. Oh yea, how about a blanket that's not torn and has holes in it. I would have thought that your embarrassment that I'd seen this would have cured that problem. That's called taking pride in ones work.

Did I get anything for my ten bucks, yes, for the next two days I got my bed made as requested, with a top sheet covering the holy blanket, but you know what, I'm not paying five bucks extra a day for that. Giving me a clean room, with working lights, clean carpet and pick up the stuff you bumped and knocked and left on the floor. As far as I'm concerned, that what's already included in whatever the hotel agreed to pay you. I tip for the extra, the work you do above and beyond what is in the very basic job description.

When I walk in at the end of the day and there's something extra, something that makes me believe you want me to have a better impression of your hotel than I came in with, then I'll leave a little something extra, and you won't even need to leave an envelope and note for me.