Dear John, Let Me Count the Ways

Sitting in the doctor's office this morning, waiting for almost AN HOUR before he came into see me, I had realized my bladder was starting to fill up. No, I wasn't in the waiting room that long, I was already trapped back in one of the patient rooms; I was beginning to wonder if they had forgotten about me.

Anyway, back to my bladder.

I'm sitting there getting all irritated that he is taking so long; with no reading material I also began to feel a little sleepy.

No. I did not pee my pants.

Being a tad bit irritated (from waiting), and a tad bit sleepy (from waiting) the following is what began to flow through my semi-consciousness.....

Doc:(when he finally arrives in my room) "So, how are you doing?"

Me:(suddenly startled from him walking in) "Oh, I'm OK I reckon except now I really have to go the bathroom."

Wait, I can't say the word 'bathroom' and why on earth would I make that announcement to him anyway? No, I'll use the word 'restroom'. No, that's not right either, although, it is probably a little more appropriate than the word 'bathroom'. Oh hell, I'll just tell him I have to go tinkle.

No! Wait! This would make a great article to submit to Associated Content, under the humor section of course; how many ways are there to say the word 'bathroom'?

Here is what I came up with:

• Toilet
• Bathroom
• Restroom
• Washroom
• Latrine
• John
• the head
• powder room
• pisser
• outhouse
• lavatory

And while we're at it, how did the bathroom get the nickname "John"?

Or, how about phrases for 'I have to go to the bathroom'? -

I have to go - tinkle
I have to go - peepee
I have to go - see a man about a horse
I have to go - drain the main vein (submitted by CC)
I have to go - weewee
I have to go - urinate
I have to go - piss

Oh OK, I won't hog all the fun - you got any good ones? I know you do.

Yes, this was a true story. Yes, it ALL went through my weird head.

Eventually I did get to see the doctor. No, I didn't tell him I had to go pee. I put on my southern-learned charm and smiled big all the while behaving like a respectable, and proper, woman going to see the doc.

No. I am not pregnant.For ERMA