Dear Sparty Advice Column

I read in a men's magazine (Men's Health) -- from their point of view -- that women enjoy "quickies" more than long drawn out sessions. I've noticed it to be partially true from my perspective. Is this a true statement? If so, why?

Sincerely,

Curious

This was definitely news to Sparty, so I had to look it up. After looking through many resources and surveys, I have come to the conclusion this statement is true... with qualifications. Apparently a few factors come into play when it comes down to the choice of quickie versus a long session.

The first factor is time. Today's society is so busy and on the go, that many people, men and women, say a quickie is the only thing they really have time for between jobs, social and family life. For the college student, this is exacerbated by the addition of a class schedule and study times. The quickie has turned into a stress and time management tool.

The second factor is how loved and desired the woman feels. If she is constantly feeling treasured, a woman is more likely to be willing to sacrifice cuddling and foreplay for a fast tumble and surrender herself to the lust of the moment. According to sex therapist Shelley Green, "most women, lesbian or straight, want sex to complement a relationship, not feel like money should be left on the nightstand once it is over", so it is important that the woman feel like a part of the sex, not like a toy used and put away for next time. If the partner can accomplish these things, a quickie is most satisfactory for a lot of women, especially because of the third factor.

A quickie can be anywhere allowing for this to become the spice of any sexual relationship. According to an article on Amazines.com, the oral sex quickie has become the preferred sexual activity for 85% of men, and the chosen method of pleasing their date by 70% of women. The attraction of being able to do it in a car, any room of the house and even in semi-public areas provides not only convenience but a thrill that can heat up a sexual relationship. Many women also cited fewer worries about pregnancy and birth control medications as a leading cause for this trend. Some have said this may be a reason for the increasing number of same sex encounters admitted to by men and women, claiming greater satisfaction from oral sex.

Bottom line is this: treat your partner with love and respect, and any sexual act that involves the heart as well as the body, and any sexual act will be a satisfying reward in and of itself.

Send your questions to DEAR SPARTY at Gittner@email.uscupstate.edu.