Death of the Board Game

Growing up in the 80's, board games were an essential part of our childhood. We had no TV, and recreational activities included climbing trees in the park, construction games, imagination games such as 'Travel Agency', 'bake nasty cookies', or 'pinch your younger sister', and of course, board games.

Some board games were more expensive than others, and we loved to receive them as birthday gifts. There were no video games in those medieval times, so we often spent afternoons and evenings sprawled on the cold floor, arguing over Monopoly money and throwing a fit over suspected cheaters in Clue.

My younger sister used to beat us all at Rummikub when she was all but six years old, but she is now 12 and thoroughly focused on her cell phone ring tones, iPod Nano and instant messaging. Technologically advanced children no longer have time for something as banal as a game played with a piece of cardboard and some plastic spot-markers.

Dear younger generation and future child of mine, here is a simple guide to the favorite board games of my youth. Please do not laugh in my face, oh ye Gurus of Hi-Tech.

Clue: This game was made into a movie, but movies are never as much fun as the real thing. The game involves finding the murderer, murder location and the tool he or she used to commit the crime. It is a process of elimination, and more often then not the culprit will be Colonel Mustard in the Study with the Candlestick. It's not what you're thinking, you dirty minded you.
Best played with adopted British accent.

Scrabble: You know that online Yahoo! Game called Literati? Yeah, the one with the letters and timer. Well, it is based on the Hasbro board game of scrabble, which is still quite popular amongst us unfashionable nerds. The rules are more serious than Literati's, and you actually have to shake the letter bag with your own two hands and calculate points with pen, paper, and brain. I know, what a bummer.

Careers: My mother purchased this for me out of pure nostalgia, it had been her favorite game in her distant, prehistoric 50's and 60's youth. From BoardGameGeek:
Careers is a game where the players set their own victory conditions. A player may choose to pursue Fame, Happiness, Money, or a combination of all three. [...]The players endeavour to fulfil their goal by going through any number of different "occupation paths". All paths have some prerequisite for entry, and benefits accrue from going through any of the paths more than once. The different occupations are designed to be suited to different strategies, eg. Hollywood is good for fame points, while "Going to Sea" is good for happiness. In the end it is the player (or team of players) who gets to their pre-set goal first who will be the winner, and achieve everything they ever wanted in life.

Monopoly: You know what this classic game is all about. If you don't, you must hail from 2070 and I want nothing to do with you. Parker Brothers are turning in their graves, for shame.

Rummikub: A tile game with numbers of four different colors, the goal is to get rid of all your tiles by forming 2 types of number sets, a bit like the card game Rummy. Strategy often involves taking sets apart and moving the whole board around, just to get rid of one tile, only to then find out that a couple of tiles have been orphaned and left without a set to be added to, which means you'll have to put everything back together again but where the heck did this red eight go?

Stratego: A war game with 2 or more armies, it involves catching the enemy flag thus conquering their country, or getting rid of their soldiers. The soldiers move on the board in a chess-like formation. If a high ranked soldier ends up on the tile of a common soldier, he gets to kick him out.

Many of the classic board games are now played online, which means that if you don't feel like spending time with your family you could easily spend the evening with a computer or an anonymous kid from Texas posing as a hot chick with a blonde avatar. Families, who need them.

Classic games are still being sold, but for how long? I weep.

R.I.P.