Death of Friendship

Everyone loses a best friend in life to either death or dispute. When the event happens it is not easy to deal with.

I first lost a best friend to dispute five years after high school. We had been best buddies for seven years, prom, graduation, wedding, and the birth of her son, our friendship was there.

Then one day evil forces worked and tore the friendship apart. We argued and went through the motions, both of us doing stupid immature things to each other. From high speed chases to confrontations in public.

After three years things calmed down, but the stories and rumors still floated abound. After six years we were able to bury the hatchet and move on, but the scars were still there.

Now after 16 years, we are Facebook friends and seem to be doing okay at that, once again sharing memories.

After that painful experience I was standoffish and did not want to have a best friend again, instead I surrounded myself with many.

I did have one friend I could count on and we called ourselves best friends for years, but I was always on guard. We were close but slowly grew apart.

Then five years ago, another best friend entered my life.

I reluctantly let my guard down and placed trust in this friendship. For the past five years, we have been there for each other.

I helped her through panic attacks, the death of her beloved grandmother and most recently the death of her father.

Two days after her father's funeral, our friendship was no more.

Now I feel like I was at our friendship's funeral.

In return she has assisted me with the ongoing cancer crisis by lending an ear and giving me an everyday friend.

We did two marathons together and could sometimes even finish each other's sentences.

But now the friendship seems to be shattered. I believe stress, anger, and depression on both ends have played a part.

We used to be a help to each other, but as of late we became more of a hurt until we could hurt each other no more.

For me it could be another casulaty of the cancer crisis I'm forced to deal with in some respect everyday.

For her it could be a casulaty of the controlling marriage she is in and other hurts from the past.

Now neither of us have a best friend. She used to tell me I was her best friend on Earth, now I'm just a memory.

I do not know if there will ever be a reconciliation.

I believe if my high school friend and I can bury the hatchet, I hope the two of us can, because our disagreement is nothing compared to that one.

The moral of the story, many best friends believe this will never happen to them but it can.

I think we became co-dependent on each other, which lead to hurt feelings and jealousy at times.

Now we are paying a long-term price instead of having a long-lasting friendship.

The death of friendship is a painful and long process.

If you have a best friend, treasure every moment and try your best not to become co-dependent or you could end up independent.