Death of a Loved One: Through the Tears and the Sadness

We all mourn differently when we lose someone that we love, it can be a Grandparent, Parent, Child, Sibling or a Friend. Upon their death we lose a part of ourselves and the sadness can be so overwhelming, that we feel our heart literally break in two. But I have found some ways to help along the healing process and remember their lives.

When a family member dies if you are holding calling hours, ask the funeral director if you can display a photo board, alot of times they will have an easel set up for you and may even have the boards. Get together with other family members and have them bring their photos they have of your loved one. Make copies of them on your scanner so that they don't lose their original photos. Pick out your favorite pictures of your loved one throughout their life, this makes a very nice tribute to that person but helps you and family members to remember "happier times" and you may even smile and laugh over the memories.

Try to remember that they are in "their happy place." I always try and imagine what that place would be like for them, did they have favorite birds? or a favorite place? This is what I imagine heaven to be for them. Also I know that they are no longer suffering or in pain. That they are surrounded by family who passed before them, totally surrounded by love and beauty.

Write down your feelings in a journal, write a poem. I have found that in writing in sadness, just how much that person meant to me. It is very therapeutic, and if you want you could read the poem at the service or have another family member read it for you. Share your feelings with others.

For me I watch for things, when my Grandmother died, the reverend had noticed that I had a butterfly necklace on, she told us that she was doing the service around the butterfly, for they represent new life, a new beginning, that you become a beautiful butterfly when you die. When I went home that night I found a blue butterfly in my garage and since then no matter where I go I see butterflies. I smile because I feel my Grandmother is here with me. With my Mother In Law it was hummingbirds, which was her favorite bird, and every year when they come to my feeder I just smile and think of her. I believe that they come back and check on us once in awhile just in different form.

I also "look to the stars" for my two beautiful Twin Grandbabies that died last year at birth, and feel comfort that they are shining down, beautiful ,watching over us.

Remember that your loved one would not want you to be sad without them.
They would want you to be happy. I tell myself that someday I will see them again. I find comfort in that and I know you will too.

You can always talk to them once in awhile, it'll make you feel better, Just because they are gone doesn't mean they can not hear you.

Most importantly remember to let yourself grieve, do not hold your feelings in, talk about them, remember them and soon all this will help you get through the tears and sadness.