"Death Race 2007," Madison Square Garden: Crossing the Street is an Act of Bravery

Regardless of whether they were aware of it, anyone living or working in or around Madison Square Garden has participated in an exciting new sport at 7th Avenue on West 32nd Street in Mid-Town New York. Although currently unnamed, I would like to register my vote for "Death Race 2007," which I think adequately describes this popular sport. Location is everything with this activity, and in this instance, the location of the pedestrian crossing has been perfectly thought out to bring about as much mayhem and confusion as possible. Placed among one of the busiest taxi ranks in New York City and along one of the very busiest streets in Manhattan, it has been thoughtfully designed to kill, wound and piss off as many pedestrians as possible as they attempt to run or walk quickly or slowly, or in some instances, sprint with (Frogger-like) abandon across this street of death.

As the corporate offices jettison their working load from 4pm to 5pm the suited masses align themselves on either side of this lemmings-leap like obstacle course, waiting for that one singular sensation, that special moment when the green blinking man allows them just a precious few seconds to traverse the treacherous street. There they stand on either side of 7th Avenue, eager participants in this dastardly game. They stamp and growl, eager for the mad rush to the other side. Some look on innocently at the speeding onslaught planning ahead for what is to come. Other, more experienced street-crossers are in skipping mode ready to be unleashed upon the roadway should the tiniest gap appear. Unlike chickens they do in fact have a reason for getting to the other side and that is so they can begin their arduous journey home.

Points are allocated to taxi drivers who can park and stop right on the crossing at the time the green light flashes. You get 2 points for pissing off pedestrians who now have to walk around the vehicle. If you can manage to make a tourist with suitcase in tow fall and scrape his/her knees on the unforgiving tarmac then you get 3 points. Cyclists can also get points in this game by ignoring the lights altogether, cycling erratically from side to side whilst shouting things like 'get out of the way', like they own the road. Points are also awarded if you can elicit curses from the pedestrians. Suicidal Pedestrians are premium to the sport. Racing across the street either way too early or way too late the excitement generated watching these miraculous beings trying to avoid vehicular manslaughter is a most singular delight. Curiously enough no-one walks faster once they've actually gotten across the road. In some instances actually slowing up or stopping completely, this will be known as the 'what's the rush' complex and will be the subject of much study and debate by leading psychologists for years to come.

To perish crossing this road is an honorable way to die for any suited office worker. For some it is a destiny foretold by their corporately clad parents in gothic children's fairy tale books at bed-time. For other's it's the excitement and challenge of simply making it. The closer you can come to actually being killed the more alive you will feel and after 7.5 hours cooped up in your office cubicle the imminent threat of death loses its sting. How many brave souls have perished attempting this sport is unknown but the accumulation of little stick men stickers with bandaged heads on the sides of some of the yellow taxi cabs are a dead giveaway.