Debating an Autism Cure

My son was diagnosed with Autism, just after he turned three years old. Having a cousin also on the spectrum, I knew the signs. Ok, so what was the next step? Therapy, medical testing, special diet? What was I supposed to do now?!

The psychologist who diagnosed my son, was kind enough to give me a list of "recommendations", for what I should consider next, as a parent. Of course I should send a copy of the diagnosis to his Pediatrician. Let's not forget continue with therapy, and get more if necessary. This would mean applying for a service coordinator with the county, and apply for funding (and respite care, if needed) as well. There were SO many things to consider, and I felt truly helpless. I joked to her "Is there an "Autism 'Post-Diagnosis' For Dummies" book out there? Suddenly, I felt completely ignorant as a parent!

I remember setting up an appointment with Children's Hospital, at their Autism clinic. My son met with a Developmental/Behavioral Pediatrician, who watched him play as she asked questions about his development. She sent us to a lab, where they drew 6 vials of blood.. Imagine a 3 year old child with no clue to what was happening, desperately squirming and screaming to get away.

My husband and I have pondered the Gluten/Casein free diets. We have heard that many children with Autism have a great response to it, in terms of gut and behavioral issues, and even with speech. There is so much junk in what humans typically eat, that our whole family decided to try it- despite the fact his test results showed no real reason to be "gluten (or casein) free". We have also given thought to supplements and the like, however just putting my son on regular chewable vitamins has caused behavioral issues at school.

I called the county for a service coordinator, to get my little guy set up with respite care, should the need for child care ever arise. We have signed up for the waivers, the family support funding, and so on. Through them, my son is now receiving both Speech and Occupational Therapy once a week, aside from what he already gets in his special needs preschool.

On top of this, I have been taking several courses to help me better our communication with each other, and to help me deal with the stress of parenting a child with behavioral issues. Not to mention, I do ask for advice when I feel I truly need it- when it comes to potty training, his tantrums, and so on. I have charts set up with visual aids, because these are things he responds well to. All of this considered, why do I feel that what I'm doing is NOT enough for my child?

I go to parenting forums online, where they specifically discuss the needs of their developmentally delayed children. Time and time again, I read women saying that if I'm not taking my child to ABA therapy, not going to DAN! doctors- not giving up my house, my job, AND my life for my son - that I am a terrible mother who doesn't love him enough to bother. Oh really?!

I recently had a conversation with my mom. We were discussing my cousin who has Autism, and all that his mother is doing to make him well. My aunt has the money to do whatever she possibly wants for her son, and I think that is great. She wants to find a cure, and with as much drive as she has to help him, she just might! However, I had to ask the question: is it my job to make my child "perfect"?

My daughter is nearly 5. She is a neuro-typical child, as far as I know. She has always been very social. She began talking at 13 months, and has pretty much all of the skills a child her age should have. I feel that my job as her parent, is to make sure that she is a good and decent human being. I need to raise her in a way that allows her to be a productive member of society. Sure, I expect a lot from her, but I'm not looking for perfection. So why should my job as a mother of an Autistic child be any different? He's only 3 1/2, but he has been in preschool for 7 months now. He is learning the rules on how to get along socially with others. He is already reading, and because of speech therapy, his vocabulary is now where it should be for his age.

I'm not out desperately looking for an Autism cure. I read as much about the subject as I can, and I gleam advice from all different sources about how to better myself as a parent, and to help my child flourish despite his diagnosis. I don't put him in ABA therapy, because I've seen what my cousin has gone through. Do I want my child in therapy for several hours a day, 5 days a week? No, I don't. I want my child to experience what typical kids his age are experiencing. I don't want him tied down to a school-like environment from sun-up to sun-down. Is that so wrong of me? I can't tell you how frustrating it is to buy presents for my cousin, when I think his mother would prefer him to have developmental gifts, over silly toys or clothes. Ok, when is there going to be time for him to be a kid, for crying out loud!

When my son becomes a man, I do believe that he will have the capability of functioning as well as most human beings do when they become adults. He will be able to love, and will most certainly be loved. He's already got a killer sense of humor, and so I have no doubts that he'll have friends. Bottom line is that so long as his behavior is in check, it's quite likely that nobody will ever suspect he was diagnosed with Autism as a child. Nobody is perfect- certainly not me. I'm not asking my children to be perfect, either. Nor am I asking for other parents to judge me because of the way I choose to raise my children. We all do what we feel is best. And when I think that what I'm doing is no longer the best, I'll change plans accordingly.