Deceptively Yours

The pain in his eyes was undeniable yet his pride prevented him from allowing the wall to crumble. What would it take for his resolve to melt, revealing the broken child within? His desire for love was reasonable yet she just couldn't bring herself to look past her own inhibitions to fulfill his needs. How long would the masquerade hold him captive, dancing through the darkness searching for the light of hope? His will to leave is strong, but the fear of losing the child weighs heavier than any hope he may be able to grasp. Not a day passes by that he doesn't wonder why he married this woman who so deceitfully manipulates him into staying in a loveless relationship.

"Do you have any plans this weekend?" he asked, hopeful.
"Not particularly. What's up?" unaware of his reason for asking, she didn't dare allow herself to assume anything.
"Well, there's a convention in Tulsa that I'll be competing in & I thought maybe you'd like to come with me." His eyes met hers. Was he serious? Her heart raced at the idea of a weekend alone with him.
"But what about…"

"She's out of town for a few weeks visiting her family." He whispered gently against her ear. "I figure we'll head up there Friday night. The competition starts Saturday afternoon, drive home early Sunday morning." She saw the hidden desire clouding his eyes as she pondered her response. There was no doubt she wanted to go, but she had a term paper that would surely not be finished if she went.

"I must be crazy…" Elise thought to herself. "That sounds great. My last class is @ 2:30. I can be ready to go by 3." Inwardly, she rebuked herself for sacrificing her education to a man who's already committed. Giving his hand a squeeze, she turned to gather her things.

"What are you doing tonight? I have some work to do here, but I'd like to take you for a ride if you're not busy." The sparkle in his eyes could only mean one thing…the bike. Gavin knew she had a weakness for motorcycles. It's easy to forget he's otherwise involved. She'd worked hard for a long time at keeping her distance, knowing that any attention from him would entangle her emotions in a web of confusion too complex for her heart to bear.

"Actually, I…" seeing the disappointment settle across his face, she gave in "don't have anything planned for the evening. I'll go home & shower while you finish up." Again, she kicked herself for not taking a stand. Those eyes got her every time.

Watching her walk away, Gavin felt his heart twinge. He couldn't help feeling guilty for his feelings toward her, even though they both knew his marriage was over all but legally. His wife never cared for his competitions. Her jealousy for spending more time competing than with her drove them apart. The only reason they were still together is largely due to her swelling abdomen. Had it not been for the pregnancy, their marriage would long since have been over.

For the next hour, the clock on the wall nearly burned into his retinas. He couldn't stop watching the minutes tick by till he'd see her again. He still remembered the first day she'd walked into his class. He'd fallen for her almost immediately. However, when she didn't return for 2 weeks, he began to wonder if he'd ever see her again. The inner battle to keep his feelings at bay had overthrown his better judgment. His intentions were dishonorable to say the least. This opportunity could not be passed up. How he longed for the loving embrace of a beautiful woman, a longing that could no longer be suppressed.

The drive across town went by in a blur. Pulling in the driveway, she realized her thoughts were so far off track she didn't remember driving at all. "Get a grip." She whispered to the reflection of guilt boring a hole in her mirror. From the first time she'd laid eyes on him she'd hoped this day would come. Although condemned by her convictions, driven as a moth to flame, resistance refused to rise. She knew the possibilities of events that would transpire should they be alone together, but couldn't talk herself out of going.

A cold shower, two Ibuprofen & a little Lee always proved to calm her senses into a serene ambience. Just as she began drying her hair, the doorbell chimed. Already? Glancing at her watch, she hurriedly threw on a robe & peeked outside to see an unexpected guest. Great; another whine fest from the disgruntled ex-bf. This couldn't be happening. "Maybe I can pretend I'm not here…" Elise laughed to herself. No, she had to make sure he would be gone before he discovered who'd been occupying her attention & exposed her secret romance.

"What do you want?" she yelled without opening the door.

"Yeah, I just wanted to see if we could talk for a minute." Avery pleaded. What a sorry display of feigned emotion.
"My answer won't change. I'm not talking to you. Please leave. Thanks!" turning to finish getting dressed, she heard him begin to sob & make a scene. Knowing it would only escalate, she picked up the phone to call the police. They'd been through this one too many times. Note to self: avoid bipolar or otherwise mentally disturbed individuals; conduct psych evaluations if necessary.

"I'm calling the police! You have 5 seconds to drag your sorry a$$ back to your car & drive away. We're done! Don't you get it!?" Frustrated beyond Lee, her pulse raced as she grasped the phone till her knuckles whitened.
"But…"

"But nothing… get lost!" she screamed. Deafening silence followed by the sound of his car pulling away served to calm her rage. The nerve of some people still astounded her reasoning. Throwing the phone on the bed, she attempted to regain her composure by taking slow, deep breaths. As she began to get dressed the doorbell rang yet again. "I thought I told you to get LOST!?" she yelled before realizing that it was probably Gavin on the other side. Sheepishly, she opened the door & sure enough it was him… Highly embarrassed, she apologized emphatically before allowing him inside.
"I didn't realize I'd upset you so violently." He teased.

"I'm sorry about that. Avery showed up for another attempt at reconciliation. Have a seat. I'll just be a minute." Switching her hips as she turned, his appreciative glance was not lost on her. The art of seduction was an ancient tactic that most overlooked, skipping ahead to the goods before enjoying the chase.

Gavin had never cheated on his wife nor had it entered his mind until Elise. Being married almost 15 years leaves a man to wonder if he'll ever attract the attention of anyone from the opposite sex again. His marriage had been less than happy for the first 13 years and he'd finally had enough. They split & he had made up his mind that it was over for good. When she came up pregnant he felt obligated to stay for the sake of the child. The love they once had left a little more each time she walked out on him only to return the next day begging forgiveness. It was a dying routine that he'd quickly gotten bored with yet continued to rehearse. After the third time, he no longer slept in the same room. He just couldn't bear to lay next to a woman who wanted nothing to do with him. Numbing pain gripped his heart each time she turned from his touch. So, he stopped trying. They went their separate ways & only spoke when there was something to argue about. This wasn't the happily ever after he'd pictured.

Everything changed when Elise entered the scene. Her presence was a breath of sunshine; a rainbow after a hurricane. He'd waited a long time for her to reciprocate the emotion he so desperately felt. Not until 3 days ago did she even give him a glimmer of hope. He'd felt a burning passion simmering between them, but rarely did she allow it to surface. She'd been very careful to not leave herself emotionally exposed. He couldn't fault her for that. He was in no position to promise her a long term commitment. All he could offer were crumbling pieces of his broken heart in hopes that her love would reassemble the puzzle.

Standing at the mirror, condemnation oozed from the image before her, reprimanding the actions she hadn't yet committed. Pushing the guilt from her mind, Elise continued readying herself for whatever may lie in wait at the end of this unbeaten path. Gavin was studying a picture collage hanging by the bed when she emerged from the bathroom. He turned to meet her gaze as she approached.

"You look great." Brushing the hair off her shoulder, he leaned in to further admire the splash of perfume on her neck. "Mmm, wow. Curve?"

"Perry. You like?" teasingly she tilted her head to the side. No response was necessary. The fleck of lust in his eyes was enough answer. "Shall we?"

Feeling the power of the bike beneath them only escalated the surge of adrenaline feeding the fire of passion that raged rapidly out of control. Gavin cut down a back road & accelerated, slicing the night sky as they raced ahead of reason. Curbing the urge to throw inhibitions into the wind, they desperately clung to what was left of self-restraint. The combination of Gavin's cologne & freshly washed laundry hung out to dry clouded Elise's reserve. Momentarily abandoning logic, she forced all her rational ideals into obscurity; exposing only the raw emotions concealed beneath the surface.

He felt the urgency in her touch as she slid her hands down his back, pressing her fingertips deep into his thighs. Taking a short cut, they were back at her place within minutes; the fire inside nearly consuming them both before she could unlock the door. Gavin couldn't resist any longer. Shut away from probing eyes, unbridled passion blazed as inhibitions melted into radiant obsession that had them spinning blindly out of control.

Would they regret it? As the fiery passion eased into glowing embers they lay in each others arms wishing time would cease, immobilizing the future that as of yet was unclear. Where did this leave them? How would they ever be able to contain this raging inferno of passion that demanded to be fed? There was no turning back now. They'd plunged over the edge; nothing would ever be the same. Each step they took now would be one in hopes that a careless whisper would never reach the ears of admonition.

"Tell me why we waited so long to do this." Gavin chuckled softly, nuzzling closely grazing her ear with his lips. A wave of contentment washed over her soul, bathing Elise in sweet, succulent ecstasy she'd never before experienced.
"Promise me we won't wait so long to do this again." Elise pressed the length of her body against his, sighing softly as she stretched. Unable to resist, Gavin trailed his fingers lightly across her cheek, caressing her shoulders, affectionately embracing this lovely woman whose beauty & passion took his breath away.

As guilt settled over her, the inner struggle tore her heart apart. She knew they had crossed a line that never should have been flirted with in the first place. How had they let it go this far? She had to extinguish the blaze between them. Where would she find the strength?