Deciding When and How to Propose Marriage

Deciding when to propose, when it's the right time to ask for someone's hand in marriage, can be a nerve-wracking decision to make. When is the right time to propose? Should you wait to propose until you've met her parents? Should you decide to propose after you've been dating for two years? Should you live together first before you decide to propose?

So many questions, but unfortunately, there is no one right time to decide to propose. There are, however, many clues and cues you can use to decide when it's the right time to propose. Let's look at a few of them.

When it's too soon to propose:

There are a lot ways to tell if it's too soon to propose. The first way is the simplest but most important of all: it is too soon to propose if you are not in love.

Only Propose Marriage if You're in Love:

I know it sounds silly, but being in love is an important aspect of getting married. Loveless marriages, no matter how 'sound' they are in every other logical sense, will be unfulfilling. If you're not sure whether or not you're in love, chances are it's not the right time to propose.

Questions to Ask Before You Propose:

Before you propose, ask yourself how well you know your partner. There are things you should know about someone before you marry them, such as their first and last name. OK, little joke, but you should know the specifics, such as who their parents are, where they grew up, what things they like to eat, whether or not they are a morning or late night person. Their schedule and yours will have to adjust to 'our' schedule, and if you are a late-night person and your potential spouse is an early riser, there might be a lot of sleepiness in the relationship.

Do you want children when you get married? If so, does your partner? Children are the decision not to have children, is one of the main reasons people decide not to get married or even decide to get divorced. If you want children and your partner does not, do not think you can change his or her mind down the road. Spouses should have their own dreams, but the important shared dreams should align with one another.

Finances and marriage are important things to discuss before proposing, and knowing whether or not your future spouse wants the same things you do in jobs and security is crucial.

Are you sexually compatible? I know, some people actually don't have sex before marriages, but even when there is no actual sex, there is still a sexual component to a relationship. Are you attracted to your future fiancé? Is there sexual tension between you? Are the kissing passionate sometimes and sweet and tender, love-filled kisses other times? If you are sexually active with one another, is the sex fulfilling both physically and emotionally for both partners? A sexual incompatibility can result in a poor marriage. A healthy, active attraction, passion and sex-life with your spouse is important for a successful marriage.

The Big Three "When to Propose" Issues:

The three biggest issues in any marriage, the three issues that are at the core of every divorce are: children, finances, sex. These are true even if you don't have children, are wealthy, or have a fantastic sex life. All three of these important parts of a relationship should be compatible and discussed prior to proposing marriage.

If you're not sure it's the right time to propose for you, then chances are it's not the right time to propose! If, however, you simply are nervous that your partner won't say, "Yes!" then consider whether you are ready, and pop that question!