Decoding Your Date: The Cancer Male

You know that cute assistant who works in your office? The one who remembers everyone's birthday, and keeps a candy dish stocked full of everyone's favorite candy? He's the nurturing male who makes a killer spaghetti with noodles from scratch, and makes you wish more men could be like him. He is a Cancer, and is the answer to every over-worked, over-stressed working woman's prayers.

Unfortunately for him, many Cancer males are wrongfully accused of being gay. Their sensitive, domestic side lends an air of femininity to them, but these traditional values males rarely live alternative lifestyles. Rather, they were the little oedipal boys who sympathized with their poor mothers, and at an early age learned to help in the kitchen and around the house, doing their own ironing and offering to fix dinner, in the hopes of being recognized for the hidden gem they always felt they were.

Cancers are the epitome of a "momma's boy," and despite the fact that for many modern women they would make an excellent catch, they often stay single until late in life. This is because not only are they extremely choosy about a mate, but they also have a tendency to not move on past failed relationships. A scorned Cancer will leave an inbox full of voicemails on an ex's phone. And just when the young woman releases a sigh of relief that her former beau has gotten over the breakup, she'll run into him at the farmer's market, where he'll ask her if they can't try again.

Chances are that he ended the relationship, maybe because she didn't properly praise his gift wrapping abilities, but after he's had time out in the dating world to see that other women completely disregard his sincere willingness to attend chick flicks with them, he'll likely decide that perhaps he was too quick to cast away his old flame. After he emerges from his tissue-laden couch, where he has spent weeks weeping over Hallmark commercials and reruns of her favorite tv show, he'll pick himself up, dust himself off, and try to win her back. Provided of course that his family approves.

His family is an integral part of his life, and after the second date, he'll be ready to introduce you to them. Don't run for the hills yet, though, as this is just how he chooses to share his life with you, and is probably not an indication that he hears wedding bells just yet. However, most sane young women may wonder when he casually invites them to join his family of five siblings at his mother's house for Christmas dinner. Despite any misgivings, don't turn him down, or you will be tossed into the rejection pile.

All holidays, and Christmas in particular, are huge events for Cancer males, who relish large family gatherings and especially home-made gifts. He'll likely even have something unique he's made just for you, that he just knows that it's the most perfect gift you've ever received.

When visiting his family home, he won't need his family to embarrass him by showing off old photos. He'll be the one reaching for the picture albums. He loves the telling of family history, and any history really. If there's still a bedroom set up with his old high school memorabilia, he'll take you on a tour and be able to tell you when he earned every single medal and award. His love for antiques will force him to point out every piece of furniture that has been passed down through the generations, and if you are a serious partner, who has proven that she is loyal and doesn't have a promiscuous past lurking in her closet, he'll show you the antique engagement ring worn by his grandmother that he plans to be yours one day.

Provided you've made it to July 4 with only a few times you committed slights against him, which were fogiven but never forgotten thanks to your gift of his favorite food or an expensive present, you'll be trekking back to his family homestead for a huge cookout. Cancers are extremely patriotic, and with the exception of Christmas, July 4 is their next favorite holiday. Of course, you'll already know this because he will take off his ball cap when they play the national anthem before his favorite football games, and may even shed a tear or two.

His sensitive nature will have you crying with him as you watch ads for Save The Children, and he'll browbeat you into agreeing to send care packages to children overseas and serve dinner to the homeless at the local shelter, where he is a regular volunteer. When a flea-infested stray shows up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, be prepared to haul him to the nearest twenty-four hour vet and choose a name for your new pet on the ride there.

Cancer males are the epitome of sensitivity, domesticity and romance. For the girl with strict morals, a similarly nurturing personality, and the desire to be adored and pampered by her mate, Cancers are the perfect choice. For those who enjoy their freedom and carefree lifestyle, Cancers are clingy, dependent martyrs who will only make them feel suffocated.

Famous Cancer males include:

George Michael

John Cusack

Tom Cruise

Tom Hanks

Harrison Ford

Robin Williams

Ernest Hemingway