Delaware: The Most Expendable State in the Union?

Insert tongue in cheek.

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Just for the record, this is not personal. I have nothing against Delaware. And Delawareans are some of the friendliest people I have ever met. But what use does the actual state of Delaware serve?

I could understand if Delaware was the smallest state. Every country needs a smallest something. But Delaware, as the second smallest state doesn't even provide that. If Delaware were to be removed as a state, would anybody really miss it? Maybe the governor of Delaware or Delaware's single member of the House of Representatives would miss it; they'd be out of a job. But what about everyone else?

Sure, you could argue that Delaware was the first state to ratify the Constitution. But come on. That was over a couple centuries ago. What have you done for me lately? That's like somebody doing you a favor in elementary school and holding it over you for the rest of your life. Besides, every other state in the union ratified it too, so it's not like Delaware's in exclusive company. With that in mind, here are a few reasons Delaware should be removed as a state.

Top Ten Reasons to Eliminate Delaware

10. Delaware's State Bird is a chicken.

What self-respecting state has a chicken as its state bird? Alabama has the Yellowhammer - now that's a state bird. New Mexico has the Roadrunner - how cool is that? But a chicken? Okay, sure, Rhode Island has the Rhode Island Red, but Rhode Island serves a purpose. It's the smallest state. So they're allowed to do things a bit differently. Besides, Rhode Island... Rhode Island Red. It kinda works. But come on. Delaware. What kind of state picks an edible state bird? Kentucky didn't even do that, and they have the Colonel.

9. Delaware is blocking Maryland's view of the ocean.

Only the southern tip of Maryland gets a slight ocean breeze, while the rest of Maryland's Atlantic coastline is taken up by...? You guessed it - Delaware. It just doesn't seem right that Delaware should hog all that beautiful ocean-front property without giving anything back in return.

8. Delaware is the only state with no National Park System.

Delaware has no national parks, no national seashores, no national battlefields, national memorials and no national monuments. It's almost as if the whole state didn't exist on the national level. Maybe that's a hint?

7.The Delaware History Center in Wilmington is located in a renovated Woolworth Five-and-Dime Store.

I think this speaks for itself.

6. Delaware bought a star in the International Star Registry.

Sorry guys. I know that sounds important. But the International Star Registry is not exactly, uh, real? Yes, it exists, but no one outside the Star Registry recognizes its names as legitimate. Not even my grandma fell for that.

5. Delaware is keeping Puerto Rico from being a state.

Let's face it. The only reason Puerto Rico is not a state is that 50 is an even number. If Delaware would just step aside and let Maryland annex it, that would leave 49 states. Puerto Rico could then be the 50^th state, and we wouldn't even have to change any flags. Besides, which would you rather have as a state -- a tropical island in the Caribbean full of great baseball players or a state crawling with hermit crabs?

4. Delaware - the corporate haven

Want to know why credit card companies can charge you a 31.99% interest rate if you default? Ask Delaware. While most states have usury laws, prohibiting lenders from charging you loan shark rates, Delaware's interest laws are lax in comparison, which allows lenders incorporated in Delaware to charge practically whatever interest rates they desire. Basically Delaware is like a big corporate off-shore bank account, without the inconvenience of actually having to go off shore. Thanks, Delaware!

3. Delaware has no network TV Stations.

I'm not saying that Delaware is unimportant, but the networks don't even have a single affiliate in Delaware. That should tell you something.

2. Delaware's the only state in the country without commercial air service.

Okay, so the networks don't think you're important enough to have your own station, and the major airlines don't fly into your state. Hmmm...

However, Delaware does have a bicycle route, Delaware Bicycle Route 1, which runs from the real state of Maryland to another real state, Pennsylvania. At least you don't have to worry about losing your luggage on a bike.

1.The list of Famous Delawareans includes Valerie Bertinelli.

You know you're hard-pressed when Valerie Bertinelli tops the list of famous people born in your state. I'm not saying the state is trying to pad its numbers. But come on guys, she's divorced from Eddie Van Halen and One Day at a Time went off the air in 1984. You got E. I. du Pont and Henry Heimlich of help-I'm-choking-on-a-piece-of-steak fame. Aren't two famous people from Delaware enough?