Democrats, UFOs Land Again

It was a long stretch, but the mainstream media came through the most recent Dark Age of Republicanism with nary a scratch.

During the past several years, it was painfully obvious to all but the willfully blind that 99.9 percent of the unbiased news media were engaged in a flanking action against the Republican Congress and Republican president. As a recent member of that club, I can personally attest to the vehemence with which many objective journalists took up their pens and charged to the defense of their country (which is located somewhere to the left of Oz).

But now that the Democrats are in charge of Congress and a woman is the speaker of the House, the media are breathing a collective sigh of relief. At least until the next election cycle, there is no immediate need to dig up Republican dirt with which to bury Democrat bodies. (They've finally almost filled in the creek at Chappaquiddick.)

Now the media can finally return to investigating troubling matters of national importance that have been going ignored since before George W. Bush first took office, to whit, UFOs, Bigfoot, Elvis, two-headed animals and other such curiosities.

Already since the Democrats' big win we've had online publishing of French UFO archives; the sighting of a flying saucer over Chicago's O'Hare Airport; a mysterious flaming tubular object over Telford, UK; and an unidentified metallic object crashing into a home in New Jersey.

In that time, we've also had the discovery of a two-headed reptile fossil from the dinosaur era and the births of a two-headed calf and a two-headed snake.

Just the other day, Jan. 4, I spotted two Bigfoot stories, one from the Detroit Free Press and the other in the Ft. Wayne News Sentinel.

And in case you missed it, Elvis' birthday is Monday, Jan. 8. Among the many King stories in the media this week is one from the Orange County Register which relates the tale of when Nixon met Elvis.

It's almost inevitable that News of the Weird will pop up from time to time, but there seems to be markedly more of it when Democrats are in ascendancy.

Consider how many UFO stories you've heard in the past six years. (Probably a few, but not many.) Now, recall the worldwide panic over crop circles years ago? Clinton was in office. That phenomenon (crop circles, not Clinton) inspired a veritable trove of UFO stories during those years, until the Monica Lewinsky scandal conjured a different image of cigar-shaped objects in the public imagination.

Then there was Jimmy Carter, who admitted during his election campaign that he had seen a UFO in 1969. Many ufologists trace the beginning of the modern flying saucer phenomenon to World War II (Roosevelt, a Democrat, was president), when pilots would sometimes report "foo fighters" trailing their aircraft.

So now we find ourselves once again in one of those periods of bliss when Democrats are in charge, all is right with the world, and the UFOs are flying high. I haven't seen any mention yet of Nessie, but rest assured, the media are on the alert for all the usual characters lurking at the fringe of our collective unconscious.

After such a years-long bout of publishing nothing but character assassination, news manipulation, liberal cover-ups, half truths, false stories, political screeds and all the other missives of journalistic "objectivity," it's nice to take a break and get back to basics.

Good night, America, and look to the skies!