Demystifying Forbidden: Why the Queen of MySpace is a Nobody

When I created a profile on MyScrotum…I mean, MySpace over a year ago, one of the first people I added to my friends list was a hot chick by the display name of Forbidden. This was my dream woman. She accepted my friend request, so she must have thought that I was a pretty cool-looking guy. I couldn't wait to send her a message and start talking to her. Ha! I soon realized that she had 500,000 other "friends." Whoa. Who is this Forbidden? Is she a celebrity? I didn't recognize her. I certainly didn't realize her real name (Christine Dulce). How in the hell did she stockpile so many friends?

I never found the answer to that question. I also didn't understand how so many people could be obsessed with her. I still don't understand this quandary. What does she do, you ask? For starters, she's a make-up artist. That can't be why she's so popular. There are thousands upon thousands of make-up artists in the And I wouldn't consider cosmetology to be a talent. It's a skill. It can be taught. It's like masonry or dentistry. So that's not it. Well, she also has her own clothing line, Destroyed Denim. Is fashion sense a talent? I wouldn't say so. You could even argue that her clothing line is ridiculous. That's what I'm about to do.

Forbidden gained notoriety for several reasons, one of them being her jeans. Yes, her jeans. They have a bedraggled, washed-out look that vapid twentysomethings perceive as totally awesome. Due to feverish demand, Forbidden answered the question, "How can I get my jeans to look filthy and worn?" For a meager price of $100 (!), you can have your own pair of tattered jeans. Sure, you could simply rip apart a pair of jeans that is already in your possession, but where's the fun in that? If that's not stylish enough, you could buy a Destroyed Denim hoodie for $60. Sure, you can get a functional hoodie at Wal-Mart for $15 or less, but it wouldn't have the words "Destroyed Denim" on it, now would it?

Hmm, why else is Forbidden popular? She's hot! I'll have to drop the sarcasm for this paragraph. She isn't that hot. She's not special. She has no distinguishable features. There are a million girls in
California
alone who look exactly like her. She may have a sizeable rack, but she wasn't born with it. Any middle-class co-ed could buy those measurements. Forbidden posed in Playboy recently, which is probably the smartest career move she has made thus far. She's a no-talent nobody. If it weren't for her shiny exterior, she would be slaving away in a food court. Comically enough, she refers to herself as an "entrepreneur." That's another way of saying, "I don't do anything, but I photograph well."

Oh, I almost forgot. She has served as a spokesmodel for a deodorant and a cologne. She's one of a kind alright.