Dennis Rodman Charged with Domestic Violence Against Gina Patterson

The 46-year-old NBA icon Dennis Rodman was arrested April 30 at a hotel for hitting his girlfriend after Gina Patterson called hotel security. Rodman was charged with spousal battery, brandishing a deadly weapon, and on count of dissuading a witness, according to CNN. Rodman's spokesman Darren Prince said Rodman had too much to drink when getting into the physical altercation with Patterson and they are still dating. Prince also stated that Rodman's drinking had been escalating over the last six weeks because of a nasty divorce and because he has not been able to see his children in over two months.

Being a victim of domestic violence is a very isolating experience. I myself was trapped in the clutches of a violent relationship. Not unlike the Rodman case, alcohol and drugs always played a major factor. Being in a violent relationship can make the victim become isolated from friends and family. It can be a very heavy burden for the victim of abuse because of the "secret" of abuse. I was always too ashamed to let anyone know that I was going through abuse at home. The weight of that secret was such a major burden. I didn't want friends to judge me, I spent a lot of time judging myself. Asking myself "how can I stay here? I must be absolutely crazy". So, if I had those thoughts, I could just imagine what my friends and family would think.

My abuser was a crystal meth addict, something I wasn't aware of at the beginning of our relationship. I overlooked a lot of signs of drug use and characterized them as other things. The staying up lots of nights, I attributed to being just a "night owl". My abuser loved to take things apart and put them back together again. Things like microwaves, computers, radios, and other electronics. I just thought he was a tech geek. I later found out that people who use crystal meth like to "tweak" things such as electronics, while they are under the influence of the drug. I also found out crystal meth users can be violent.

By the time I had put all of the pieces together, I was in too deep. After 6 months of being abused both physically and verbally, I believed that if I just helped him get off of the drugs, we'd be alright. If I could just get him to see how much I cared for him, he'll change. It doesn't work like that at all. I eventually left my apartment and went to live at a domestic violence shelter. I knew that I could not break things off with him without physical violence, so I basically dropped off of the map, hiding at a shelter where I stayed for almost 3 months. I quit my job also because he would definitely come to my job to hurt me. At the womens shelter I received counseling and tons of useful information on how to spot a potential abuser when going into a new relationship. Some of the red flags that I remember most are as followed:

1. When going into a new relationship, be aware of things moving too fast (like seeing each other every day, or moving in too soon.

2. Be aware of him wanting to know where you are at ALL times. This was a tricky one for me because I thought this was a sign of love, when actually its a sign of control.

3. Be aware of any drug or alcohol problems.

4. Be aware of him wanting to go everywhere with you....again, another control issue.

5. Be aware of his past relationships, why did they go wrong...and be willing to listen closely if ALL the blame is on the other woman.

6. Be aware of him using certain terms to identify with women: such as broads, whores, bitches, etc...

Also, one of the main tips I would suggest is for the woman who is in a violent relationship. Tell someone about the abuse and GET OUT!! There are local agencies in almost every state that can help you. Get out before it costs you your life.