Dental Humor

I recently lost a little weight. Now, I know what you are thinking. You were thinking; "You? You were in perfect shape. You were the last person who needed to loose weight. Look at that guy, he should loose weight, but you; never." Well, thank you for saying all those things and please rest assured that I only lost a little weight. About .2 ounces is all.

It was in the form of a tooth. I wish I could say that I lost the tooth in some cool way. For instance; 'I was riding my bicycle to work and a great horned owl flew into my face' or 'I was helping some baby ducks cross the road when out of nowhere a great horned owl...'. Well, I'm obviously having trouble coming up with a cool story, so I will just level with you. I had a cavity.

It's very embarrassing. I don't even eat very much candy. Unless you count all the chocolate, then, ok, much. But it was not my sweet tooth that got the cavity. I know because I still want chocolate even though the tooth is gone. The cavity was in a wisdom tooth. My wisdom teeth should have been gone a long time ago. As you age they are supposed to gradually take away body parts you do not need or want. First your tonsils, then your appendix, then your wisdom teeth, then bone spurs, then that 90% of your brain that they say you are not using. But my wisdom tooth must have lain low and avoided extraction.

I found out about the cavity when I went in for some dental hygiene at the local dentist's office. They sat me down in a very comfortable chair, but that was the last comfort I was to experience. They began to scrape a pointy piece of metal over each tooth. They said it was important to scrape each tooth way under the gum line. I estimate that they went about 14 inches under the gums. Can teeth even get dirty that far under the gums? If you are washing your hands, is it necessary to stick a pointy piece of metal under your fingernails and scrape your finger bones before you can say your hands are clean? So anyway, I had the tooth pulled, but I think all in all the cleaning hurt worse. Afterwards I found out that they now have a device that lets you clean your own teeth at home. It is called a toothbrush. You better believe I will be checking into that (right after I get myself one of those chairs). And I encourage you to also. Otherwise a great horned owl might come out of nowhere.