Depends to Unveil New Ad Campaign

The New Campaign "Depends" on Lisa Nowak Not Trading This Orange Jumpsuit for Another

Roger Gowens
Depends, the maker of adult diapers or whatever the company spin doctors call them now, are set to unveil a new ad campaign. The new ads, unfortunately too late to premier during the Super Bowl, will feature none other than Astronaut Lisa Nowak.

The ad plays on the old spots for Tang and a more recent commercial for Mastercard. It is in the same spirit of the Nationwide Insurance ads with Kevin Federline, and produced by the same agency.

Of course, the spots are contingent on Lisa Nowak not "stealing a page" from former Congressman Mark Foley and going into rehab.

"Depends, the diaper the Astronauts use!", Nowak intones, followed by a voice over announcer proclaiming "Steel Mallet $50". Rubber gloves $5. Trash bags $12. Knowing you can drive 900 miles to stalk your romantic rival without relieving yourself in a beer bottle, Priceless.

Published by Roger Gowens

Venture to the RazorsEdge to read about a variety of topics. Some inform, some entertain, my goal is to do both. I am available for freelance work. Contact rgo72904@yahoo.com. This is Roger Gowens and I appr...  View profile

  • Nowak's whack pack also included pepper spray
  • Also included: a lockblade knife, rubber tubing, and e-mails between William Oefelein and her rival
  • Nowak told Orlando police she "only wanted to talk" to the other woman
This article is SATIRE

2 Comments

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  • RazorsEdge2/14/2007

    Thanks, Zac, keep reading please.

  • Zac Wassink2/14/2007

    haha awesome article

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