Depression is Just One Cause of Suicide and Attemped Suicide

I was surprised by the news, then was told it may have been suicide. My husband said our friend's brother may have walked in front of a train! I was shocked and speechless, instantly feeling a myriad of overwhelming thoughts, and emotions that ranged from sadness to anger.

What do you say to something like that? I'm sure that from time to time, things have gotten bad enough in everyone's life where we too have felt like committing suicide. However, the majority of us, for one reason or another, simply don't!

I pray that writing about this tragic loss will open our eyes, help us understand that we can care enough to actively learn how to recognize the symptoms, and possibly help others. It's a matter of choice, just like many other things we choose in life.

Before going any further, I must say that you may have known this person. If you haven't figured out who I'm talking about already, you will soon piece it together, as you too lived in, and worked around, the small relatively tight knit community where this happened.

For the rest of you, please know that for purposes of this article, I wish to keep the names of those involved anonymous out of respect for what the family has already been through.

You may have known this devoted father of 3, loving husband, and trusted firefighter. You may have even stood beside him for years, while as a brave hero he selflessly fought to save the lives of others.

He seemed to be happy when I had conversations with him while he was caring for his young children allowing his wife to stay home and rest. We also know his older brother, a well known, liked, and respected person.

Losing a loved one is hard enough, but this death was probably made more painful by the fact that our friend had previously lost another brother the very same way over 25 years earlier.

He too committed suicide by walking in front of a train. I find it hard to believe this tragedy did not bring back a flood of pain from the family's previous loss, making this blow even harder. I can't imagine how the family is feeling, or how they will manage to cope.

I looked the event up, finding an article in The Delaware County Daily Times Newspaper dated January 19, 2009 along with many comments left by people expressing how they think and feet about this tragic suicide. From what I read, I got the impression that many people are at odds over it.

According to the comments left by others, there were eye witnesses to the suicide, and there seems to be a lot of finger pointing suggesting that there were people around who not only observed this young man's actions, but knew what was about to happen, and did nothing to stop it!

Honestly, ask yourself how many people you know that truly has the gift of mind reading? And, if they did have the power to read minds, do you believe anyone in their right mind would have stood by and allowed such a tragedy to take place when they could have prevented it? If you truly stop think about it, can you yourself point the finger at the people who were present?

Realistically speaking, there are long term repercussions for having witnessed something like this, many lifelong. If we have the ability to read minds, thereby preventing tragedies, and we choose not to try, then there is something seriously wrong with our society.

I don't think that others really mean to point the finger of blame, but rather are looking for answers; reasons to explain why this happened so they can try understand it. Unfortunately, like in a lot of situations we don't understand there are far more questions than we have answers.

When someone passes away, there's usually a funeral, the planning of which isn't easy, and attending is even harder. However, after the funeral is over ,and our loved ones laid to rest, we can usually begin the healing process, gradually venture out into the world, and eventually find a way to cope.

When our friends or family pass on, many lives are affected, and we are the ones left behind to pick up the pieces; wives, children, sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, friends, etc.

However, when someone decides to end their life in such a gruesome, and final way as by walking in front of a train, those who are left behind have an even more difficult time coping, adapting, forgiving, and moving forward.

We may never know why someone takes their own life, but we must attempt to heal. Here are a few things we can do to remember and respect your loved one, and for your healing to begin:

Cry For Your Loss, Talk About Your Loved One, Honor the Memory of Your Loved One,

Allow Yourself Time to Heal, and Think About Your Loved Ones Wishes

You can find more information on how to do this at the link below:

http://personaldevelopment.suite101.com/article.cfm/coping_with_death

It's important that we understand ourselves, and equally important that we know what we want. We must realize, and recognize that what we do, and our happiness or lack thereof, is infused into the lives of other people.

For the most part, we primarily all want the same things. We want to be happy, and we want others to show they care about us. If we understand that, then maybe we can help someone before it gets to the point where they want to hurt themselves which in turn hurts us.

Oftentimes simply talking things over with others shows them you do are, and can possibly help avoid potentially heartbreaking, and life changing events. Communication is very important to your well-being, and that of others.

Someone you know and care about could be depressed or thinking about suicide. If you educate yourself about what to look for, you may be able to help prevent another tragedy.

Although it's normal to feel down from time to time, it usually goes away. However, if it last for a long time, something could be seriously wrong. Someone you know could to be in a deep depression that dominates their life.

They may begin to lose interest in the things they used to like to do, and may stop spending quality time with friends and relatives. They may stop going to school, or may perform poorly at work, and may show signs of feeling worthless. When someone feels this way, they tend to isolate themselves from others. If someone you know is behaving like this, something may be seriously wrong and you should take it seriously.

These feelings don't just go away, and may lead to thoughts of committing suicide. Feeling depressed does not translate into weakness, but it's a mental illness that can be treated with medication and counseling. Left untreated, depression can get worse, and last longer each time. This is not normal, is not a phase, nor is it a sign of weakness.

So, it you know someone who is:

Sad Irritable

Has lost interest in the things and in others Has a change in appetite or weight

Has low energy levels Expresses feeling guilty or worthless

Has difficulty concentrating Frequently thinks or talks about suicide

Take it seriously and seek help:

The most important thing you can do is to first talk to them, then be a good listener to them. Also, make sure you let them know how much you care about them.

Help them understand that no matter how overwhelmed or helpless they are feeling about their problems, help is always available. Most importantly, encourage them to seek help. Tell them you know this is the most difficult thing they could possibly do, but encourage them to do it anyway.

If they don't want to, then you should seek help for them. Talk to someone you trust, and respect, especially when your loved one uses the words death or suicide have been. The worse thing we can do is ignore it.

If all else fails, help is only a phone call away. Do not hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255).

Use the method below to learn how to recognize many of the warning signs of suicide:

IS PATH WARM?

I Ideation (medical term for thoughts of suicide)

S Substance Abuse

P Purposelessness

A Anxiety

T Trapped

H Hopelessness

W Withdrawal

A Anger

R Recklessness

M Mood Changes

http://www.suicidology.org/web/guest/stats-and-tools/warning-signs

http://www.cdc.gov/ncipc/pub-res/suicide_factsheet2008.pdf