Desperate Housewives Recap: If He Punches You, Then He's Violent..

So let's recap last night's episode of Desperate Housewives, because I'm sort of on the fence about this show. It seems to be improving and becoming entertaining again in some storylines, yet being very trite and horrible in others.

Let's discuss...

I guess we'll start with the while Susan, Mike, Paul Young story where Paul is blackmailing the Delfinos because Susan vacuumed in her underwear for money. I guess this is morally horrible and something that needs to be a big, bad dark secret. Really? That's the best they can do? Shame a woman for doing something A.) Legal and B.) only slightly kinky and mostly boring? The whole losing her job over it had be screaming, "Yeah right!" at the screen because I happen to know a teacher or two who twirl on the stipper pole of dreams over the summer. Please. Now if it were porn or prositution, maybe. But this whole storyline stinks and I'm over it.

I'm also over Paul and his dumb wife, Betsy? Bitsy? Muffy? Oh who cares. Whatever. She didn't eant to do the nudey nasty with him, but I guess cocking a pistol (!!!) and pointing it at a woman trying to kill your husband is a turn on. Okaaaaay. I guess...

I'm not even going to recap that stupid fight between Susan and Paul. Lame.

Down the street at Lynette's house, she's still whining about only having ONE baby and self sufficient Teenagers. Boo freaking hoo. Did she whine that much when they were all under ten a few seasons back? But whatever. Mommy in law has the dementia and it was very sad to watch. Especially at the end when she was off to assisted living. That made me tear up just a bit because I never realized that they really DON'T go home, do they...

Gabby is still a monster, only this time she's ruining children's lives. I hate this plot. I hate that they're even going there, and it stinks. So the kids were switched at birth. Surely they can all have DNA test and then involve a therapist or something, instead of watching Gabby just steamroll a 9 year old for an hour. "My daughter's a dog..uh is...a dog..." blech. Kill this story dead, please...

Finally let's talk about the old lady and David Silver. Was Brian Austin Green always this horrible of an actor or was I just too dumb to notice it on 90210 when he was trying to get into Donna's pants? Oooohhh...is he terrible. That last scene when he's about to punch the old drunk football player's face in at the Halloween party was so awful I had to look away. That and all the injectibles in his face are odd to look at too.

Again, I hate this story line with Bree and her cougar boy-meat. It's gross. They have zero chemistry together, and she's not a good enough character to hide is horrible acting from the School of Luke Perry Performing Arts. Now Vanessa Williams? That I would watch! She's the best thing to happen to this show since the gays moved in. That's what this show needs...more of her and the gays. It's the only reason I watch.

Looks like we get our wish next week when Carlos trades his Chimichangas for the plate of Beans and Weinies. What did you think of this week's episode?