Diabetes and Children - Chapter 2

Once your child has been diagnosed, the next step is accepting this new life. Unless something happens through ongoing research, this is forever!

Trying to help my son deal with this life-changing event is, at times, very daunting. When my son was in the hospital, things seemed very surreal. He was tired, not feeling well, and in shock. Anger had not reached him yet. Thinking back, I realize that what we all experienced was the same emotions that one goes through when dealing with death or divorce.

At the hospital, once he was admitted into the PICU, he seemed to just become numb. No tears except when dealing with painful procedures. I think he was just to ill and exhausted. Once he was moved to a normal room, he still did not allow himself to show anything. He watched television, did word searches, and played with his GameBoy. I don't know if he was trying to be tough in front of his father, or if it was just a matter of survival. Once we reached the car, emotions came out, mostly in tears of disbelief. When we were home, he just cried and cried. Yet, he was so very brave. I would be so totally unnerved when it came time for an injection, and he would let me know that it was okay. Such an amazing young man!

After a week, he went for his first appointment with his new doctors. Due to insurance issues, we had to switch to different doctors. At first I was upset by this, but it ended up being a good thing. They changed his insulin delivery from manual syringes to the pen, which is like Epi pens used for bee stings. The only thing is that it was recommended that my son be given time to reach the point were he could give his own injections. The new doctors insist that he become responsible for his own injections immediately. This was quit a shock for my son. Yet this new system made it possible for my son to be able to eat what he wants to, even though he still has to count his carbs.

One thing about this disease is that it is always in your mind, and in your face. The best thing that you can do for your child is try to put yourself in his position and imagine having to stab yourself with a needle just so you can eat. Some days are great: blood testing goes smoothly, injections don't hurt, and readings are perfect. Other days seem to be failures continually. Calluses build up on the fingers, making it difficult to get a sample. Imagine having to jab your sensitive fingers over and over with a sewing needle, yet not getting the results you need. Just that thought of taking as many injections as my son has to do makes my skin crawl. He has to "cover" every meal, as well as snacks over 15 grams of carbs. Plus he has to take a long acting insulin. This used to be only at night, but because of the type he can use, it is now twice a day. Again, imagine having to inject your stomach or thighs several times a day. Having your sugar crash and feeling weak and shaky. Not being able to eat what you want, when you want, without taking an injection.

There are several things a parent can do to help their child that I have learned over these past months. First, don't keep his meds and testing equipment continually in sight. Find a drawer or container to place the items in. Learn what things you can do to make it less tense during the time your child has to test and take injections. For instance, when it is meal time, my son and I calculate his carb level and figure out what he has to cover. I make sure that he has something enjoyable, like ice cream, as a treat. While I get the food ready, he goes ahead and sits in the family room, and turns on cartoons. I never rush his testing, because sometimes it does not come easily. On the days that it goes bad, I never yell at his loss of temper. I try to calm him, and keep myself busy doing other things. He has started putting lotion on his hands every day, which makes it easier to test. Sometimes, just the test results can set off more problems. So many things can affect his numbers, especially with growth spurts or puberty affecting them. Again, calmness on the parent's part helps.

We do the same for injections. I allow him to do what he needs to do to make it easier. Whether it is leaving the room, watching cartoons, etc. Whatever it takes. Again, some days are good, and some are bad. Many times I have held my son as he has cried from the pain. He sees bruises that sometimes develop, fingers with holes all over them. Sometimes his anger is so strong that he strikes out at me verbally. It is difficult when he says that I can never understand what it is like. I admit that this is not possible, that I can only imagine what it is like. All a parent can do is be there for your child. If you do not deny his feelings, your child will accept it faster, and you will still be in one piece!!

My son craves to be like a normal kid again. Every normal thing a kid does can be affected by this disease. Sleepovers, sports, school days. Birthday parties and carnivals. I try to remind him that he is probably healthier than most kids because his diet contains less healthy food. Of course, he just rolls his eyes at this. Sometimes, a parent may find it necessary for a wake-up call. I have had to do this several times. I let my son know that I may not be able to understand completely what he is feeling, yet it still affects me. But one thing I make him realize. I tell him if he was going to get a disease, I would choose this over others, such as cancer. I get it through his head that at least he can control this, and that he basically is healthy if he does so. It could be so much worse, and could be having to do chemo, be in the hospital for numerous operations, or sitting in a wheelchair wearing a diaper. He still has a future.

One of the other lessons that child must learn is responsibility, and a parent must as well. While my son was on vacation with his dad, I discovered that he did not test himself nearly as often as he should. I explained to him the importance of this. It is also important that they don't cheat. Trying to explain to your child the seriousness of controlling their sugar with scaring them into depression is tricky. But parents need to realize that being soft and not making them test is really a serious mistake. Yes, it is important for a child or teen to be responsible for themselves, but parents need to remain diligent in checking their test results. Unfortunately, there are many diabetics that are now "brittle" because of lack of diligence. You are doing your child no favors!! Be there for your child, love them, support them, but don't kill them with your kindness!

Hopefully things will be easier soon. I take each day with my son, hoping for a good day, but ready for a bad. They say it takes a good year before there are less emotional breakdowns. Now my son and I discuss the research that is going on so that maybe someday, we can put this all behind us.