Dick's Last Resort in San Antonio, Texas - "Rowdy O' the River"

Dick's Last Resort on the Riverwalk in San Antonio, Texas is a wild, wooly, finger-licking good time. It might be considered a little over the edge for some; people with high morals and values may find the behavior in Dick's Last Resort offensive. That's not to say you won't have a good time even if you have high morals and values - I sure did. I've been to Dick's Last Resort dozens of times, with my professional sales colleagues, and we had a blast as observers. One time we observed a young, dolly-diva college student sucking a maraschino cherry and whip cream out of the end of a condom that was blown up and placed on top of a longneck beer bottle. OK, now you have the idea.

What we really went to Dick's Last Resort to do was eat, though. They have a really affordable menu, with good food and fast service, for large groups of people. Dick's is fun for a couple on a date, too. Dick's Last Resort is a rustic place, with long picnic tables and almost everything is served in buckets and bowls. In typical Dick's fashion - their slogan for the bucket menu is "Size Does Matter!" Oh my. Well anyway, we had the "38DD" for $28.99. (That really was the price of my 38DD - just kidding). The "38DD" is a group meal with 3 meats, 4 sides, and 2 desserts. You can choose from BBQ beef, chicken, pork, or seafood. Their fresh fried catfish is a favorite. The sides are actually healthy: brown sugar carrots, corn-on-the-cob, broccoli, and more. The Peanut Butter Pie is my choice for dessert, but the cheesecake is acceptable. Reservations for a minimum of 20 people are required for the big bucket meals. For smaller groups, you can choose the "Show Off a Little" ($18.99), or the "Show Off a Lotta" (24.99).

Bubba Dick's Ribs ($15.99) are one of my favs, also. If I'm in the mood for seafood, I order the Fry'd Shrimpies ($15.99). Dick's Last Resort has a good selection of tasty burgers and salads for $10.99. The Finger Foods is the appetizer section of the menu where you can order 3 appetizers for $9.99 or 6 appetizers for $12.99. The Rabbitt Platta is the veggie appetizer plate with dipping sauce - another healthy alternative while being entertained by people on top of the tables passing oranges from under each other's chins, and from other place.

If you want to cater food for your office lunch or a party at home, you can order from the Grab N' Go Plattas section of the menu. All the Plattas serve 15-20 people ranging from chips and salsa for $21.99, Rabbit Platta (veggies) for $39.99 to Bubba Dick's Ribs for $69.99. You can finish your catered lunch with Homemade Cheez Cake Platta for $24.99. If you were entertaining 20 people, those Platta selections would come to around $7.85 per person plus tax. Not a bad deal for really good food!

Dick's Last Resort always has live music in the evenings with no cover, no dress code, and as they say - no class. If you want to have a really fun bachelorette party or wedding shower, you should consider any of the Dick's Last Resort locations in Dallas, San Antonio, Chicago, Myrtle Beach, Boston, or San Diego. Dick's will provide all your party needs for $16.99 per person, including food, music, special cake, cameras, t-shirt, bumper sticker, "BJ" shot, and more. They have pool tables and dart boards if nothing else in the place is entertaining your guests, but I doubt that you won't see anything else wild and wooly.

If you have not experienced Dick's Last Resort in your town, you must try it at least once just to say you have been there. It will be a memory you will never forget and you will have many water fountain stories to tell the next day at work.

Dick's Last Resort in San Antonio, Texas is located at 406 Navarro at the Bridge on the Riverwalk. (210) 224-0026