Different Types of Submission in BDSM: Submissive, Slave and Pet

Chloe Thorn
In the BDSM lifestyle there are largely three different types of submissives, and when speaking to them, they will tell you with pride which they are and why. The following is a small idea of the differences, in no way giving all the details that are involved with the vast array of men and women that submit.

Submissive - As a submissive you are in the first tier lets say of a Dominant/submissive lifestyle. You submit to your Master, you give up control for long periods of time. However you have your opinions and your choices and you can still make them. Say you do the dishes and pay the bills, these things usually are still under your control. It changes only during set times and parameters. There is also the thought of the "power balance" between dominant and submissive. Meaning that in a submissive role although you give up the control the power is really still 50/50 just in a different setting and under more intense circumstances. Sex is usually a large part of this relationship and mostly where the submission enters in. Now don't get me wrong the intensity is still strong and the punishments and pain are real and overwhelming however you have more of an option to stop and this doesn't spill over into the everyday that much.

Slave - As a slave control is given up completely. The power balance is completely tipped in the Dominants direction. However keep in mind this is a choice the slave makes not something she/he was made to do. Slaves usually are slaves 24/7. They may work but when they get home there is no distinction from normal day to a BDSM day, that person is always a slave from the day they ask for that. As a slave sex is still very real and alive however not always the goal and not needed for the Dominant and slave to be in that persona. As a slave the lifestyle is usually more intense in pain, humiliation and just pure pleasure. Something to remember however is that as a slave this does not mean if the Dominant asks you to break the law or hurt yourself that you should obey on a whim. If a Dominant is asking you to do things that are against the law or against your moral values than he or she is not a true dominant.

Pet - This hasn't always been a classification of a submissive person and is still controversial in some circles. A pet is more on the side of a slave except for one large difference, sex does not have to be involved. In many cases it is not. If you have become a pet it is to give up yourself and obey, you gain pleasure from the control and the obeying not from sexual play. There can be play but it is rare in this kind of lifestyle. This submission is one of the most dangerous because you can lose yourself mentally because you so rarely have thoughts of your own, you usually do not work and although you may discuss things with your Dominant he is last say in all things.

Ultimately the deeper you go into submission the stronger you have to be which of course is peculiar since you have to give up more of your control with each level. But you have to be very sure of yourself to give up every ounce of control and thought. Taking each step is serious and should never be taken light by the Dominant and submissive, especially if you want to remain safe, sane, and consensual.

Published by Chloe Thorn

I am 32, I have a wonderful daughter who is 13..... I love to read, write, cook, and dance. I also enjoy listening to music as loud as I can crank it. All genres of music interest me but especially, rock, po...   View profile

18 Comments

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  • manny caraballo 5/13/2011

    message was for Chloe not manny,,,richard cat881@gmail.com again very intersting personality,,,i write myself,,,write and tell memore about yourself

  • manny caraballo 5/13/2011

    Very interesting person you are. I write myself. Feel free to write me at cat881@gmail.com and tell me more about yourself and lifestyle and desires. Richard

  • A true PET 4/19/2011

    who ever made this is so WRONG! A pet is much more...and its very sexual. This person needs to not write about things they have no clue about. A pet is loving and loyal to their owner plus very intelligent and protective

  • Pepe 2/1/2011

    Sure. I want to be fed, cared and taken care of bya beautiful female master, who don't allow me to work outside the house. So, she will bring the bacon and I will take of everything else. Anytakers? And yes, I'm very submissive as long as I'm well fed.

  • Jen 1/13/2011

    I've been looking for a master, dillon2cute_@hotmail.com

  • realslave 10/29/2010

    I was exhibited as a slave and all the owner's friends enjoyed it. As a slave I had no rights, no say in any thing...........
    I agree, been there, done that. I was a pet first and then became slave and owned property, with no privileges. My job was to please and serve my mistress. I was also shown off at group meetings and other functions. No fantasy or fiction here. I really loved to belong to someone.

  • petandslave 12/13/2009

    I agree with marina. Other than fantasy and fiction, I was a real pet and slave; owned by two different owners. "Yes,owned " like real property, used and or abused. As a pet I was cared for and was a show item. As a slave I was controlled and ordered to work for my owner and her friends. I was exhibited as a slave and all the owner's friends enjoyed it. As a slave I had no rights, no say in any thing. My job was to serve and please my owner. sometimes I was rented out for service to others. This is real, no fiction or fantasy. No I am free and unowned.

  • housepet 10/15/2009

    i agree with Marina 100% - i've been a pet for five years and had several Owners. A pet is someone favored & cherished as well as de-humanized and humbled. You don't tell your non-human dog or cat to go clean the bathroom, right? Yet so many people ask "What's the difference between a slave and a pet?" (to which i reply "Well, just say the words and they don't even sound like the same thing - pet... slave.... Get it?")
    The more affectionate you are with a non-human dog or cat the more you get back from them - it's the same with petgirls like me :D

  • Simon Blaise 6/8/2009

    [Good thing I copied this]

    Once you find your kink, or at least have a fair idea about what turns you on, which requires study, thought, experimentation, study, more thought, and thankfully, more experimentation, the only label you will need is your very own name.

    In summation, look not to your inherent desire to define and catergorize, but, rather, look to the desires that drove you to this very article for answers and never look back.

    S.

  • Simon Blaise 6/8/2009

    From much of what I have read on the internet, it appears that those who have been getting involved in the lifestyle of kink tend to write more while they are initially learning about it themselves.

    I recently wrote that when you take the time to really get to know someone, it's impossible to put a label on that person.

    Turning the focus of that statement inward, I will now add that when you take the time and energy to explore your own kink you will no doubt realize that you will not have the ability to put a label on yourself either.

    Kink is not as simple as the author would like us to believe because people are generally complex and passionate creatures.

    Things like labels for developing kinksters are, for the most part, a distraction, and even serve as a road block for some, from what they really need to be working on - finding their kink.

    Once you find your kink, or at least have a fair idea about what turns you on, which requires study, thought, experimentation, s

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