Dining Out: The Dreaded TIPS, To Insure Proper Service

On Friday night, I found myself facing that dilemma that bothers many people throughout the United States-how much of a tip should I leave. Standards in many areas are to double the tax, which comes out to 18%. If service is exceptional, 20 to 25% can be left. If service is poor, 15% is left. These are the standards, but I find myself disagreeing from time to time.

"TIPS" breaks down to "To Insure Proper Service." What is expected of a waiter or waitress? I have my own list, as I'm sure many do. From my waiter or waitress, I expect to be greeted within a couple minutes of sitting. I expect my drink over to be taken and an appetizer to be ordered at the same time, I'm always surprised at how many waiters and waitresses will make it a big deal to take an appetizer order when they are taking our drink orders. I expect the wait staff to have checked our plated orders before bringing them to the table. I do not want to be checked on every thirty seconds while eating, but I do expect the waiter or waitress to check on our drinks and food quality once.

When our plates have been emptied or silverware and napkins are put on the plate to signal we are finished. I do not expect to wait more than five minutes to see a waiter or waitress come and check on my party. At this time, they can clear dishes and then offer to come back with a dessert menu. When we say no thank you, I expect the bill within another five minutes.

I do understand that during busy hours, the time periods may be a little slower, and that does not bother me. It is the wait staff who ignore us that will earn the tip every time. If proper service cannot be delivered, a waiter or waitress honestly has no one other than him or herself to blame when I leave no more than 10%, and yes if the service is really horrible, I have left 10%. It's only happened a couple of times, but I feel I was more than justified.

The first time happened at a chain restaurant. Our waitress had four tables to handle. My husband and I took the kids out for a quick meal after haircuts, so Friendly's it was. Not the greatest of establishments, but it is relatively inexpensive, and the kids love the free ice cream at the end. The hostess sat us down and said our waitress would be right with us. After ten minutes, she'd popped by the table to the right of us, but still hadn't approached us. When she finally did, she offered no apology. To me, that was strike one. We ordered our drinks (this is a non-alcoholic establishment so it should not take much to get sodas.) Meanwhile, the people to the table to the left of us started muttering that they'd been waiting for ten minutes to get their drinks. We soon realized they were not kidding.

After fifteen minutes and our tracking down the manager, we got our drinks and the waitress promised she would be back to take our food order. Now by this point, we really should have walked out, but I am a determined type of person and I wanted to see just how much worse it could possibly get. The table to the right of us finally got their meal, they'd both ordered a salad and their toddler had a bowl of cottage cheese. The husband immediately commented that the wrong dressing was on the salad, but he wasn't waiting another twenty minutes.

Ten minutes passed, we'd still not seen the waitress. The table to the left of us walked out without bothering to wait any longer for their meals. At this point, I was saying it had to be a delay in the kitchen, but tables in the other sections were getting meals rapidly, so I began to question that theory. We'd now been in the restaurant for close to forty-five minutes and our meal order had finally been taken. Thankfully, our children were willing to tolerate the wait.

After fifteen minutes, three of our meals were brought to the table. My son's chicken fingers were absent. The waitress made an excuse that the kitchen had forgotten to prepare them and that they couldn't hold our meals in the warmer any longer. Since we'd ordered basically the same meal, I pushed my meal over to my son and he ate that instead. I saw no point in making an eleven-year-old wait when he'd already been waiting. The waitress was upset by my move and said that his meal would be coming and that my action was unnecessary, and that was definitely strike two - a major strike two. In fact, it really counted as strikes three, four, and five as well.

By the time my husband and children had finished their meals, the other meal was brought to the table. This was twenty minutes later, so there really was no excuse. In this time, I'd hunted down the manager again who said she apologized and would see what had happened. The manager never returned.

Meanwhile, the couple to the side of us with the toddler. Well, they were talking to us at this point about the lousy service. They flagged another waitress down and asked if they could get their bill. The waitress immediately came over and told them they were due for the free sundae, but they told her that they didn't have the time to waste. She took off and ten minutes passed. By this point the almost-two-year-old was fussing, so the wife took him outside and the husband waited for the bill. Another five minutes passed and he walked out. He gave up on waiting for a bill any longer. It was 8pm by this point, and I think everyone had had enough.

Our waitress made a surprise appearance to ask if we wanted to take the four sundaes that another table had ordered and then walked out on. I refused to take someone else's food, so I told her no and that we wanted the bill. We opted to hit a creemee stand on the way home so that we were not ruining the night out for our children. They were fine with that.

After another fifteen minute wait, our waitress hadn't returned, so we went up to the main counter to retrieve it. The manager found it and rang it up--$88. My jaw dropped and I looked it over. Remember the couple with the toddler who walked out and the sundaes that had been ordered by another table and then they walked out? Well, the waitress turned around and added it all to our table. I balked and was ready to go to war. The waitress was called over and she admitted that the others hadn't paid her and that she hoped I wouldn't catch on.

The sad part in all of this is that the manager patted her on the back and said mistakes happen. The manager then took the bill and took 50% off of it. Again, I balked. The woman was as incompetent as her waitress. At this point, had she been smart, she would have comped the meal for horrible service. Instead, she sighed and redid the bill making it correct. On our bill of $40, we left a $4 tip. I'm not certain the waitress deserved even that, but I had that silly niggling voice of conscious that said her lesson would be learned best if she got a little money but not as much. Even then, the waitress snidely commented that we'd wasted her time with a tip that small.

So, for all those waiters and waitresses out there who feel that they deserved a big tip and didn't get it. Maybe you need to first sit down and look back at everything you did or more importantly didn't do! Tips are not guaranteed if the service hasn't been up to par.