Dinner with My Ex-husband

I sat at the table, sipping my glass of white wine that the waiter had given to me just moments before. It was already half gone. I would need a good buzz if I was going to get through this without losing my temper. Just as I chugged down the last bit, I saw him talking with the hostess who pointed him in my direction. I gave a little wave, and made a silent prayer that this would go smoothly.

"Thank you for meeting with me today," I said to Travis as he seated himself. "I thought that we should talk."

"Yeah, it's not a problem. We needed to discuss this sooner or later, and we really shouldn't have put it off for this long."

"Agreed. How are you, anyway?" I folded my hands on top of the table, doing my best to force an interested look on my face.

"Good, and you?"

"Fine."

"Good."

I sighed, rolled my eyes and got down to business. "So how do we do this? I get him during the week and he stays with you on the weekends?"

"What? Why should you get him on weekdays?"

"Because I make more money than you, and can provide a better home for him."

"That's bull! I make plenty of money."

"As a manager at Burger King? I think I fare better as a dentist."

"Oh, of course. I forgot. That makes you better than me."

The waiter then hesitantly interrupted the conversation and asked if he could take their order. "No," I said, "But I'll have another glass of wine, please."

"There you go, boozing it up again. Tell me, can you make it through one day without a drink?"

"Yes," I replied, "But only if I don't see you on that day."

The waiter then mumbled something about coming back to check on us in a few minutes.

"Anyways, as I was saying. I can provide a better home for him."

"No you can't!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Everyone in the restaurant was now staring at us. The manager then walked over, telling us that if we didn't keep it down, he was going to have to ask us to leave. Travis and I quietly agreed, that was, until Travis said something uncalled for. "Pardon her, sir, she has had a bit too much to drink."

Raising my voice just a tad, I urged him on. "Excuse you?"

"You heard me. You alcoholic."

"That's it, you are never seeing Winston again!"

The manager then stood between us, ordering us to leave. "You two can discuss Winston outside. Now get out, or I will call the cops."

"FINE!" Travis and I both yelled simultaneously, as we both stormed out of the restaurant.

Standing outside the restaurant, Travis finally gave in. "Fine, you can have the damn dog! Even he is not worth this trouble!" And with that, he walked off to his car, and I gave a victorious smile. I win again, even after the marriage has ended. Nice to know that I've still got it.