Disciplining a 2-Year-Old

Can you discipline a two-year-old? Don't misunderstand...I'm not asking this question because I'm going to give you the answer. I'm asking it because I truthfully don't know. It would, however, be fantastic to find out at this point in my life since I currently share my home with one that is quite unruly. I'm not a rookie in the game of parenting--my two-year-old is number four of the five children I proudly call my own. I currently have a child in every stage of development--an infant, a toddler, a preschooler, an elementary school student, and a teenager. I've been through two-year-olds. These are a few of the things I've learned.

Give them the do's, not the don'ts. Instead of saying, "Don't stand up in the cart", say "sit down". I truly believe that kids only hear the last part of your sentence 100% of the time. Begin it with "don't" and they hear "stand up in the cart", "scream", "hit your brother". It does work, although I must admit I sometimes feel like a drill sergeant (without the colorful language), barking orders in the frozen food section.

Ignore, ignore, ignore. It's a proven fact that if you ignore bad behavior, your toddler will get tired of doing it. Use your own judgment here. If the behavior is going to hurt your child or someone else, you obviously shouldn't turn a blind eye. But if it's a common fit we're talking about, do your best to go about your business. I love it when I see mothers calmly pushing a grocery cart, reading labels on cereal boxes while their toddler is red-faced and wailing over some unknown catastrophe. Granted, I don't love it as much when it's my toddler and I'm the one pretending to read labels so as to ignore the behavior, but it helps to put things into perspective when I see that it happens to the best of mothers.

Say yes. What I mean is don't say no all the time. For instance, your toddler has your cell phone texting who knows who, who knows what. Grabbing the phone and saying "no" will more than likely begin a throw-myself-on-the-floor-because-the-world-is-ending tantrum. Instead, offer a trade. Give them a drink, a toy, a book, a spoon. Honestly, most of the time it can be anything. However, if and when your toddler realizes that a phone is way cooler than a spoon, you may have to step up your game. The point is, save "no" for the really important stuff, like running into the street or sticking fingers in outlets. If your toddler hears "no" all the time, things that are a danger to him or her will be no different from picking up a cell phone.

Remove them from the situation. If all else fails, remove your toddler from the environment they are currently in, be it from the room, from the store--just away from where the fit originated. Remember that it is actually hard to be a two-year-old. Toddlers are trying to develop independence while harnessing emotions that come with not getting what they want when they want it. It's a learning process for them, and sometimes they just need a breather. You'll be surprised how often your toddler is ready for the fit to be over and how relieved they are when it actually ends.

But to actually discipline a two-year-old? I don't think so...not in the common sense of the word anyway. Use the methods I've tried, use your own, just use what works. What's good today may be junk tomorrow, but remember that it does end. It's called the terrible twos, not the terrible tens. They get through it--so will you.