Disciplining Your Child: To Spank or Not to Spank
Do You Use Spanking as a Form of Punishment ?
When I talk about spanking I am referring to a little swat on the rear ,or a slap on the hand.While I have spanked my daughter I don't use this form of punishment to often. It is ineffective for us .We used spanking more when my daughter was young and we were trying to keep her from doing something dangerous,like climbing onto the kitchen counters. When a group of mothers were discussing discipline recently the subject turned to spanking.There was not one of the mothers that stated they used spanking. I asked them if they had ever spanked their child? They all said they had not.They acted like spanking was a form of abuse .One said that parents should not be allowed to use spanking as discipline. After the group had split up I talked with one of the mothers alone and she admitted to using spanking with her children.She also admitted that she was embarrassed to say she had spanked her child in front of any other mothers. I told her I knew how she felt ,in today's society spanking is frowned upon by most. If you were to spank your child in public there would be twenty people calling the cops for child abuse. If you admit to someone that you spank your child you might be on the receiving end of a lecture.
Every time I watch a show dealing with discipline of children they have their experts wiling to tell you how cruel and wrong spanking is.They proceed to tell parents that spanking causes long term damage to a child.Spanking teaches children it's okay to hit someone if they are not doing what you want them to do. Spanking leads to more aggressive behaviors later in the teenage years. Even the Super-nanny Jo Frost tells about the effects of spanking when she visits the homes of unruly children.
There are plenty of other ways to discipline a child instead of spanking them. A parent can use time-outs, take away privileges,and use a reward system.These forms of punishment and rewards can be very useful when dealing with a child that won't behave. Sometimes though when a parent has tried all the other methods and the child is still acting out a spanking might be all it takes to curb the problem.The spanking makes the child stop immediately and think about what they are doing.There are times when spanking should not be considered.If you are extremely mad and feel like you are ready to lose control spanking could lead to abuse. Never spank a child when you are not capable of controlling yourself.
Spanking can be a useful form of discipline when used correctly.Always make sure that you inform the child why they have been spanked. Also make sure to tell the child you love them ,and even if they are spanked that doesn't change anything.I know several people that were spanked as a child and they have grown into normal ,happy ,healthy adults.There were no long term effects from the spankings.Do you believe in spanking your child? Do you think there will be long term problems from being spanked? What other forms of discipline do you use ?
Feel free to leave your comments and opinions below.
Published by Heather Shockney
Heather is the mom to a daughter with Autism, ADHD, ODD, Mood-D/O-NOS,obsessive compulsive tendencies, and sensory issues. We are a cyber-schooling family.She writes for a variety of online venues. If you ha... View profile
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33 Comments
Post a CommentMost compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony. documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on "spanking". Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea: American Academy of Pediatrics, American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Center For Effective Discipline, PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals, Churches' Network For Non-Violence, Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu, Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps, Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children, United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. In 26 countries, child buttock-battering is prohibited by law. In fact, the US was the only UN member who did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child. The
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do. There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
This is an interesting article. I was spanked as a child%252C and I am a law-abiding non-violent citizen. However%252C I am against spankings%252C in any form. I hear the excuse about %2522I was spanked and I%2527m fine%2522 all the time%252C but parents do not know how their children will react to spankings. Their intentions may be great%252C the spankings may be mild but your child may still find fear and resentment towards this behavior of discipline %2528more like punishment%2529. Please don%2527t misunderstand%252C I am not bitter or angry at my parents because I understand it%2527s the method they were taught worked best. I remember distinctly not wanting to get hit%252C and I understood my family loved me dearly%252C but spanking me was far from love and it took me a while before I was able to want to get close to them afterwards - it just did not feel loving.
I just wanted to straighten Joseph out a bit on his biblical analysis before someones else takes his improper view of what "God" was saying... "Spare the rod and spoil the child" was not a susjestion, nor was it a command, it was actually an observation or, even more correctly, a warning. When something or someone is "spoiled" that means that it has become "rotten". When something is rotten it has become worthless, unusable, and therefore has no value anymore. This is what God was telling us. If you spare the rod, then you will spoil the child. It doesn't take a whole lot of common sense to understand. What it does take is the time to study for a moment what you are reading and then look at it with the God-given common sense that we were all born with.
Even though some people believe that spanking can lead to more aggressive behavior, I feel that spanking is one of the better disciplines if used in moderation. An unruly child should not always be spanked for their undesirable actions; other alternatives could be used for the severity of these undesirable actions, having spanking be for the alternative for the worst action.
Look at our parents. I can tell you that the majority of them were spanked/hit far worse than we ever have been. Do you think they are ok? I don't see any long term problems with any of them.
Other alternatives for less sever actions would be a time-out, extra chores, loss of an item the child finds valuable, or not being allowed to go out and play.
i think that spanking is good. i got it and it wasnt that bad
i think that spanking is good. i got it and it wasnt that bad
Like most passages in the Bible "Spare the rod" is a metaphor, not meant to be taken literally. It refers to the rod by which shepherds guide their sheep. The rod is tall so the sheep can see it and follow the lead of the shepherd. That passage is about leading your children down the right path, setting a good example, etc.
My last comment was cut off. What I meant to say was:
Why make the assumption that that teens that blow away their classmates were not spanked. Maybe they were, maybe they were not, maybe they are sociopaths who just don't have the capacity to care. Statistics show that one in seven babies born in the U.S. is a sociopath. I say we leave out the Columbine, etc. teens from the spanking debate. These are special cases.
Let's have some perspective, here.
Discipline means guidance and that is needed to raise children, to teach students, to run a business, to maintain society, and preside over a country. Punishment is a consequence to behavior deemed inappropriate or malicious. Discipline and punishment are not synonymous, and the rod in the Bible is the guiding staff of a shepherd, never used to beat them.
When researchers talk about spanking causing violence, they are not talking about a swat to the bottom or hand, now and then, or a few spankings in the entire childhood of an individual. They are talking about children being swatted numerous times with a hand or implement, more than once a week or month, and as first response to most misbehaviors. This teaches a person to respond this way to others, that is, with violence.
Furthermore, why make the assumption that the teens who walk into schools and blow away their classmates have not been spanked? Maybe they were beaten, maybe they were