Discrimination in College. Will You Be Aware when it Happens?

Today, for the first time in about two years, I walked on a college campus and it felt good. The air felt fresh, crisp, and clean. There was no trash on the sidewalks and everyone seemed to be walking briskly. I suppose they were in a hurry to get to class so they wouldn't be late. I myself was wondering around, trying to find the main building to conduct some important business.

Normally I am a shy and introverted person, but being on a school campus after being absent so log just felt right. I felt as if I belonged there even though my skin may have been a bit darker than the rest. It didn't bother me that only a few people had dark skin like I did. I was back at school and ready to learn. The summer quarter can't start fast enough for me.

I felt lost so I decided to ask someone if they could direct me to the right place. "Where is the main building?" I asked. "If you go back this way (pointing behind me) and turn right, that should take you to the right building." I said "thank you" and continued on my way. When I finally found the main building, I couldn't find the admissions office. I had probably walked a mile now. Even though I hadn't walked in awhile, I was far from tired because I was happy about being back at school. At one point in my life, I couldn't get enough of school. It posed challenge to me that no other activity could.

I stood to the side for a minute, watching people walk in and out when I finally decided to give up. I thought to myself "just forget it" and started walking back to my car.

As I was walking, I found another entrance to the building and walked in it. I was there!! I accomplished my goal. The inside was beautiful! It was magnificent. It was not like any other college I had attended.

I marched myself to the admissions office and asked my question. The response I got took me back to my old college days in San Diego, CA. I have to tell you this before I tell you what she said. It wasn't what she said; it was how she said it and how she looked at me when she said it. "This is XYZ University (like I didn't know that). If you want our e-learning program, you have to go over to their office. We are like two separate entities. If you go over there, ask for Marge and she should be able to help you. She is a good friend of ours." She looked at me as if I didn't have any business stepping foot in their office since I wanted another division of their University. Instead a smiling, she had a half smirk on her face. This immediately took me back to my days at SUV University in San Diego.

I started my college career at a community college because I wanted to make sure that my skills were up to par. When the time was right, I applied to one university-SUV University and I was accepted the first time I applied. I was excited to transfer to a University as this meant I was getting closer to earning my degree. When I got there, my experience was worse that I could ever imagine.

Being in San Diego, I assumed that there would be less racism and prejudice in the area my school was in since it was in a middle class, middle income area. There were students from all over, but most of the students were Caucasian. After the Caucasian students came the Hispanic students, then the African-American students, Asian, then other as the school, put it.

During my first semester I took a full load. I completed all of my lower division general studies courses with the exception of Spanish. Before I could declare my major as social work and switch from being a social work pre major, there were a few social work classes I needed to take. I went ahead and enrolled in the needed classes with one of them being an introduction to social work with Dr. Louisa Hanger. Dr. Hanger was an older Caucasian woman, on the brink of retiring. In the class, I was one of two dark skinned students, but I never talked to the other dark skinned student. Many of the students liked Dr. Hanger. I only the other hand didn't care for her, but she was the only teacher that taught the class this semester. Bedsides, the university was packed and switching classes wouldn't have been an option had there been another class.

I was doing well until there was one assignment that I got back and the points I got for each section did not total the total points Dr. Hanger had on my paper. I brought this to her attention and she said "I didn't grade your paper, my student assistant did." She then looked at my paper a little and said "Well this is supposed to be a zero (pointing to a number that was distinctly a four)." I said "this looks like a four. How can you tell me it is supposed to be a zero? Besides, if it is a zero, then the points are still wrong." She said "It is a zero!!" and changed my score. Because of this my grade went down a grade. My paper was clearly an A/B paper, but I had gotten a D! I didn't understand how one minute she could tell me that she didn't know what happened with the scoring and the next minute she could tell me that one number was supposed to be another.

I asked her to re grade my paper. I know I am a good writer and I knew that I deserved a better grade. The assignment was easy: it was an autobiography. There were a few specific points we had to address and I made sure I addressed them. When I received my paper back again, the grade had not changed and I decided that it was time for me to take my problem to a higher authority. I wasn't sure if she had done this to me because of my skin color or for some other understood reason. I had not had much interaction with her or the other students so there was no reason for her to hate me. I figured it had to be my skin color because I heard her inadvertently say other racial slurs while speaking with the class. Of course a woman of her stature didn't just say outright rude things. She disguised them, but being the smart person I am knew what she was saying.

I started taking my problem higher my e-mailing my complaint to Dr. Hanger and her supervisor, the undergraduate counseling office and anyone else I believed had some clout in the matter. I got a hostile response from Dr. Hanger stating "you are an angry young woman and you need to get some counseling for your anger problem and other issues you have." Where did this come from? In my e-mail I stated the exact situation and I left out my opinions. The only place her rude comments could have come from is my paper. I am a former foster child and I went through a lot growing up. I stated this in my paper. Does this fact have anything to do with me being upset over a grade? I didn't think so.
Over the course of the next few weeks, I complained to anyone and everyone and I finally got a meeting with an undergraduate counselor. They never addressed Dr. Hanger's rude comments in her e-mails. They just told me that the paper wasn't good enough for a higher grade and they totally supported Dr. Hanger. They were also all Caucasian.

I gave my paper to other people to read. Everyone I spoke to outside of the school told me I had a great paper and definitely deserved a higher grade. I kept filing complaints to higher authorities, but I never got any further than the counselor at the school.

The school ignored my complaint about the teacher being racist and discriminating against me. I found out that I was not the only one this had happened to. Needless to say, the experience I had at XYZ School took me back to the situation with Dr. Hanger. The only difference now is that it motivated me. I am older and I will not let racist people stop me in my tracks and make me feel inferior. I will keep going and keep fighting to accomplish my goals.

I dropped out of SUV and I never looked back. There is not a day that I regret the decision that I made back then because that is what felt right, but I will never, ever let someone's hate of dark skinned people affect my decision to pursue my goals or do something that enjoy.

** Names of people and places have been changed to protect certain identities.