Dishwashing Made Easy!

If there's one thing I think I excel at, it's washing dishes. Certainly I'd rather be reading a book or chopping down a tree, but I think I do a pretty bang-up job when it comes to washing dishes. In sure Rambo fashion, I get in and I get out. In fact, I might go as far as saying that guys in general are better at washing dishes than their female counterparts (a.k.a. their wives). My wife does not agree with this -- she thinks my dishwashing skills suck. I'm not sure why -- after all, I honed my dishwashing talents in one of the world's most demanding eating environments: the United States military. In the military you can't dick around -- dishes and pots need to be cleaned, the kitchen squared away, tables cleaned. There's no time to dilly-dally. Especially when the next meal is being prepped almost as soon as the present one is finished. Come to think of it, my daughter doesn't like the way I wash dishes either -- but she'd rather that I clean them than her. So she keeps her 13-year-old-I-know-it-all-mouth shut.

But I digress. I'm here to tell you how to wash a better dish. How to get those dishes done and out of the way before your favorite TV show is on. You may scoff, but if you can follow these easy tips you will have those dishes sparkling and you'll be the envy of all your wife's friends. Maybe even the woman that really matters -- your wife (although she's probably too proud to admit that you are faster and more efficient than she is).

I'm not nearly as eloquent, but I agree with dupagehealth.org who emphasizes that proper dishwashing is an important part of a good sanitation program and which breaks down the whole dishwashing process into several steps. Most notably:

1. Scraping
2. Washing
3. Rinsing
4. Sanitizing
5. Air Drying

With respect to saving time, I tend to combine the scraping and washing steps. I don't need to remind you that hot water and soap are essential items here. Although there have been plenty of occasions when I eschewed hot water for cold out of necessity and used sand instead of soap. But unless you're doing dishes out in the middle of nowhere -- I say don't skimp on the hot water.

Healthychild.net points out that for hand washing, rinsing, and sanitizing of plates, pots and silverware, a sink with at least three separate basins should be used. If you do not have three sinks (one each for washing, rinsing, and sanitizing), dish tubs can be used. And if you don't have that, then consider what I do which is scrape, wash and rinse in one fleeting moment. Afterwards I soak everything one last time in hot water. It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, that if you have/use basins, each one should be large enough to accommodate large pots and pans and have its own faucet to supply hot and cold water. Edibleschoolyard.org recommends that utensils and other equipment be soaked in a separate basin.

I don't go for that fill-the-basin-full-of-water technique, I choose not to open the faucet all the way, keep the hot water trickling and scrape and wash like there's no tomorrow. I also use some weird sponge I bought at the market that is soft on one side and rough on the other. Kind of like synthetic steel wool, but without the steel. Getting back to the water issue, it's not for me to say that this is a good thing or not, but I sleep better at night knowing that a fresh, constant stream of water is flowing over the plates and pots in question. I don't like washing in a basin of dirty water-- water that continues to get murkier with each plate I clean.

I also skip over the "sanitizing" step. Heck, I just ran hot water and soap over everything and let it all soak. I don't think I need to soak everything again in some anti-bacterial agent as well -- that is -- not unless my mother-in-law did the cooking.

I let everything air dry for a few hours and right before I turn in I'll sneak back in the kitchen and put everything away.

And before I forget -- my biggest tip: after you savor that last spare rib or whatever it is staring back at you on your plate - dig right in and wash everything while it still has a pulse -- in other words, before everything dries on the plate, pots and silverware. That's when germs and bacteria can really kick in and that's when dishwashing becomes a real chore instead of the somewhat fun responsibility it actually is.

That's all there is to it, baby. Dishwashing in as seamless a way as possible. Half the time, half the energy and not nearly as much mess.

Life doesn't get any better than this! Now what time do re-runs of McGyver start?