Disney Commandos - What They Are and How to Spot Them

I have written several stories about our trips to Walt Disney World under the screen name 'Delswife'. Many of those stories featured my oldest daughter who we call 'Commando Nikki'.

If you are a Disney freak like many of my friends, there is a chance you live with, love, or ARE a Commando.

How to identify a Disney Commando (Pre-trip)

1) They pack-unpack-repack their suitcases everyday for 3 months before the trip.

2) They try to pack your stuff 2 months before the trip with little regard to whether or not you still need to wear underwear again before the trip.

3) They have either packed a whistle, an air-horn or arranged to have access to a train horn.

4) They no longer call days of the week by Monday, Tuesday, etcetera...the days become numbers as in, "30 days until we leave."

5) 10 days before the trip, they check weather.com 47 times a day. It becomes the home page on your computer.

6) A week before the trip the 'days before you leave' become 'hours until you leave.' (Depending on the age of your commando):

6a) ...or they become sleeps before you leave- "We have 7 sleeps left."

6b) ...or they become fingers before you leave- "We have 7 fingers left."

7) Occasionally and without warning, they will emit a high pitched squeal and shake uncontrollably. This can happen anywhere. It resembles a small seizure. You'll know it when you see it.

8) Your entire home becomes covered in lists. Common sense 'to do' things like "must shave legs before departure..."-good luck finding the razor.

9) The itinerary is checked hourly for any changes, including but not limited to punctuation.

10) If a Disney commercial airs on TV there is a demand for silence.

11) You have to agree to every hidden Mickey they think they see just to avoid the fight.

12) There is a suitcase that actually contains nothing but multiple deodorants, shampoos and other miscellaneous toiletries like that. There will be no stopping at a store for anything. You could probably open your own convenience store using that suitcase.

13) 3 days before you leave you cannot find a razor, toothpaste or shampoo. They have been packed

14) 2 days before you leave you notice that you are no longer receiving mail. The commando stopped it.

15) 1 day before you leave you can no longer navigate your home because the suitcases have been brought out for examination. They are stacked, un-stacked and restacked for proper placement in your vehicle for travel. They have also been covered in multi-colored strings, ropes and ties for easy recognition at baggage claim (Note here - if a commando could attach an actual human being to the luggage, they would).

How to identify a Disney Commando (Trip)

1) You are awakened every morning either by the whistle, air-horn or train horn - no time to sleep.

2) They have no control over the level of their voices. Everything they say is screamed at the top of their lungs - no time to repeat things.

3) The walk at the speed of blur - no time to stroll along.

4) Their eyes bulge, their bodies shake and they don't drink coffee - no time to rest.

5) You never see them sleep - I don't think they DO sleep - no time for unconsciousness.

6) There is a person trying to dress you before you get out of the shower - no time to dry off.

7) Clothing you forgot you owned shows up laid out waiting for you when you do step out of the shower - no time to pick out something weather appropriate.

8) Your arm gets a foot longer from being pulled on - no time to dawdle.

9) Your back develops a curve from being pushed - still no time to dawdle

10) You never miss a dinning reservation, fast pass time or park opening - no time to waste.

11) Your group has to all use the bathroom at the same time whether you need to or not - no time for calls of nature.

12) They imitate Jell-O when waiting for anything; Arms floppy, legs rubbery - no time to wait.

13) You are never without a fast pass in your hand - no time for lines.

14) The only time they sit is when they are on a ride - no time for sitting.

15) You risk injury standing too close to them because their hands are constantly moving in the air to point out things. But there's never time to stop and look - no time! Go, go, go!

16) There are multiple pictures of your car, parking spot, and sign for each and every park you visit - no time to look for a car.

17) You're no longer referred to by your name. You become a number - no time to get lost. "SOUND OFF, 1-2-3."

How to identify a Disney Commando (Post-trip)

1) They move at the speed of snail.

2) Pictures are developed or burned onto a CD before leaving airport.

3) You can barely hear anything they say.

4) The walk around and sigh a lot.

5) You see them sleep.

6) They search television channels looking for Disney commercials.

7) They spend hours on the internet talking to other Disney enthusiasts.

8) They cry when they look at your vacation pictures.

9) They have built a temple of napkins, straws, plastic cups, pens, glitter and other things they picked up from the trip.

10) They require medical attention when you announce the next trip. Before you tell them, make sure you have an oxygen tank near-by.

I love my commando, I mean it. Without our commando, there is a good chance we wouldn't have done as many thing as we have on our trips. Good luck with your commando. There is no way to control a commando. I'm sorry, they are born that way.