Divorce Pain and Support Counseling

There is nothing more painful than to lose someone you love and care about either through death or an unwanted divorce or long-term broken relationship. This article focuses on the physical pain following the knowledge that a marriage or long-term relationship is over. It is absolutely amazing how strong the physical pain can be and how some individuals feel like they are not strong enough to make it through.

Everyone has experienced physical pain. If the pain is bad enough, a pill or some kind of medication is required to alleviate it. Emotional pain can trigger physical symptoms. When the origin of physical pain is from an emotional or mental reason, one is said to have a psychosomatic illness.

Unfortunately, the word psychosomatic has a bad reputation. If someone is said to have a psychosomatic illness, they are thought to be imagining the pain and are only looking for attention or sympathy. They are often told that the pain is "all in their head" and they need to buck up and get on with life. This is just not so. Anyone who is going through a great deal of stress is very likely to have chronic kinds of pain such as; headaches, back and neck pain, heart burn and nausea. The reality is that a psychosomatic illness is real and it is painful. Physicians are trained to look at physical reasons for pain first and if none can be found, to look at emotional or mental reasons for the pain. Either way, the pain is real no matter what the final determination of cause.

The above information has been provided to set the stage for talking about the existence of physical pain related to a divorce or loss of a long-term relationship. The stress that goes along with these types of situations can result in physical pain that further debilitates day to day functioning. The longer the emotional cause of the pain goes untreated, the more harmful the effects to daily functioning. Depression is closely associated with divorce and loss and if you are going through, or have gone through, a divorce and are suffering physical symptoms, you should seek professional help.

This author has written a book called, When Divorce Hurts Too Long - Wallowing in Post Marital Stress Disorder (PMS). The focus of the book is to help readers determine whether the pain they are feeling after an unwanted divorce or broken relationship has gone on too long and they have moved into Post Marital Stress Disorder (PMS).

It is normal to feel pain and depression during a divorce and for a time after. Having feelings of abandonment, betrayal, hopelessness, and powerless is to be expected and is normal. The period of grieving varies for everyone, but eventually most people start to pull themselves together, begin to pick up the pieces, and move on with life.

Some people, though, do not pull it together and get on with life. They seem stuck in their pain and are victims of their situation. They become bitter and cynical and their divorce is on their minds persistently. They become obsessed about their situation and can't break this preoccupation. This author has coined the term Post Marital Stress Disorder (PMS) to describe what is happening when someone does not get over their divorce and move on with life in a reasonable amount of time. They have PMS.

The book - "When Divorce Hurts Too Long -Wallowing in Post Marital Stress Disorder" - offers readers the opportunity to take a PMS questionnaire designed by the author to help them know if they have PMS or not. If they discover they do have PMS, the book takes them through a STOP PMS process which focuses on three variables known to affect happiness and satisfaction with life. These are: the inner-child, self-esteem, and having an adult understanding of love.

If you are suffering through the emotional and physical pain of a divorce or broken relationship and think it has been going on for too long, you need to seek professional help. Many times the depression that accompanies a loss such as divorce is so severe that medication is required. If this is the case, seeking medical attention is critical.