Divorce: Religion of the Children

Among all the possible problems that arise from divorce and custody, religion is one that seldom comes to mind. However, religion is a topic that can be, and should be, considered in a custody decision. Most family court systems list the major factors involved when deciding the primary custody of the child. Religion is one of five major matters that child custody law addresses.

There are five decisions that married parents make for their children, which the law says neither divorced parent may unilaterally change--residence, religion, health care, education and recreation.

First, the religion chosen for the children, during the marriage, is determined. That religion is the considered "status-quo-religion," and neither parent may change it unless both parents agree or the court allows it. However, if the children had no specific religious education or upbringing, then the status-quo-religion is considered "no specific religion", and neither parent may then educate the children in any specific denomination without the other parent's agreement.

A relatively common change made after a divorce is for one or both parents to change their religion. When a divorced parent attempts to impose his or her change of religion on the children, trouble erupts. To avoid that trouble and recognizing that religion is a major issue, most states prohibit one parent changing the children's religion.

These laws, and specifically the First Amendment to the United States Constitution, allow each parent to share his or her religion, beliefs and practices with the children, including newly adopted beliefs. The prohibition is limited to making a formal change in religious denomination without the consent of both parents.

When called upon to resolve disputes between separated or divorced parents who disagree about the religion of their children, courts attempt to balance competing concerns. The courts must protect the First Amendment right of religion as well as the right to raise his or her child as he or she wishes.

On the other hand, when making decisions about custody and visitation arrangements, courts must protect the best interests of the child and decide whether the parental choice of religion can endanger the welfare of the child. When one parent complains that the other parent's religion and its activities are not in the best interests of the child, courts have the difficult task of deciding whether it is necessary to encroach upon the other parent's First Amendment and parenting rights by limiting religious activities.

Understanding the limitations of the courts involvement in the affairs of religion and children during divorce can very well remove one item from the list of arguments an estranged couple can make. In effect, the best interest of the child can override parents First Amendment right of religion, but the key factor involved will be the pre-existing religion of the child. Keep in mind, as well, that the child may very well have their own ideas on their religion.

It is estimated that children that endure the divorce of their parents change their religion and status at a rate of 62%. Children of divorce tend to grow disenfranchised in their religion and, most often, they will assume an agnostic or atheist belief.

For parents who truly are concerned with their child and his or her religion, coming to an amicable agreement with their ex-spouse is the most preferable way. Starting with the idea that any religious education is better than no religion, is preferable. However, keep in mind that according to the law the existing religion of your child, most likely, will not change through divorce.