Divorce Showers - the Dawning of a New Tradition?

Many of the rituals and traditions we associate with weddings are archaic and outdated - some have even been modified to such extent that the original meaning and intent is completely lost.

The purpose for a wedding party, for example, was not to give the bride an excuse to dress her friends in hideous outfits. Back in olden days, people believed Evil Spirits would crash the wedding and steal the bride and groom away, because Evil Spirits don't like happy things. Bridesmaids and groomsmen were brought in as decoys - the bridesmaids dressed to look like the bride, the groomsmen dressed to look like the groom, so that when the Evil Spirits arrived, they would be confused and not know which, among all the fake couples, was the real happy couple.

Wedding showers are another outdated tradition. The reason friends and family shower the bride and groom with presents, usually household items, was because the bride an groom, before marriage, had lived with their respective family. Marriage was the beginning of "a new life together" with more emphasis on the "new" than the "together" - the bride and groom needed all the household items that were being given to them because they needed to furnish an entire house.

Nowadays, things are slightly different. While not all couples live together before marriage, the vast majority has, at least, moved out of Mom and Dad's already. In these cases, both the bride and the groom already have a fully-furnished house before marriage - wedding presents today serve to upgrade or enhance the household items the married couple owned before the marriage.

While I am in no way advocating we eliminate wedding showers, I mention the original intent of this tradition to suggest a new one, along similar lines.

Divorce rates are a sad fact. It would be nice to think that today, as in the time of Cinderella, after the wedding everything is happily-ever-after... but it's not. As a divorcee myself, and knowing the experience I and other divorcees have gone through, I would like to suggest a new tradition - the divorce shower.

When a couple splits, each person loses half of his or her stuff. One person takes the dishes, and the other takes the pots and pans. One person takes the TV, the other takes the DVD player. Each party in the divorce is left with only half a furnished house (depending on how the divorce is settled, sometimes the situation may be even worse than this). This is the time when the ex-bride and ex-groom need a shower! This is when they need help furnishing a house!

Settling a divorce can be as expensive as planning a wedding (in my case, the wedding was simple; the divorce though also simple, cost four times as much as the wedding - and that was just the legal proceedings). The divorced parties don't have extra money to purchase the things they need to furnish the new apartment. Doesn't it make sense to help them out?

Weddings are inherently joyous occasions. There is really no need to make the occasion even happier by throwing more parties, such as bridal and wedding showers. However, a divorce is the exact opposite (though, I do admit, for many women finalizing the divorce is great cause to celebrate) - a marriage has failed, a way of life has ended. As much as either party wanted the divorce, it is still a sad, mournful occasion. This is when we should cheer the divorced party up by throwing a shower!

I want to make it clear that the shower, while a party of sorts, is not a "celebration" of divorce. A divorce shower is not to celebrate or glorify divorce, but rather to help out the divorced party. Divorce is a reality in our society, and we should start accepting this fact. Offering a helping hand to the people who have suffered through this tragic moment is a good first step in that direction.