Divorced but Staying Together with the Ex

Getting divorced but staying together is getting more and more popular these days. I know. I couldn't figure out why anyone would do that either. That was until I found myself in that very situation with my wife.

This didn't happen over night. My wife and I separated seven months before she filed for divorce. We stayed together though. We still had a sex life, we still did things with each other and we still took care of one another. Just like we did when we lived together. We both liked the option of having our own space though. Sure, we missed each other but it was nice for both of us to have the option of saying to the other, "I just want to chill at home alone tonight" and send the other home.

When she filed for divorce, it was an uneasy feeling. "Is this the final chapter?" "Is it officially OVER"? The fact is, our divorce should be final in the next week or so but we're still together. We still have sex, we still do things together and we still take care of each other. Nothing has really changed. We've even discussed plans of having a celebration of sorts after our divorce is final. The following are some of the things we took into consideration when we decided to do this.

We will no longer be legally tied to one another.

That's something that a lot of married couples don't think about. Yes. You and the person you married are legally bound to one another. Your spouse (unless you legally put someone else in charge) will be the one they ask permission from if they ever have to pull the plug on you. Your spouse will get your social security money in the event of your passing. It didn't bother me that my wife had all these legal rights as my wife but it bothered her. She doesn't want me or any one else having legal powers over her.

Taxes and Insurance are more simple.

Every year when my wife and I filed our taxes some things from MY past (not hers) would creep up. If we filed our taxes on February 1^st, we were lucky if we got our refund in August. I had a Ford truck that had a manual transmission. My wife cannot drive stick shift but I had to put her on my insurance because she is has a driver's license and lived with me. If she had tickets or a DUI from the past, my insurance would be sky high and I have never had any tickets and I don't drink and drive. It wasn't a problem for us but it could have been.

Things change after you're married.

In most cases, things change after you're married. The newness wears off and you're dealing with REAL LIFE now. In most cases, a newly married couple will fight more in the first three years than they ever did BEFORE they were married. I would say since my wife and I split up, we are closer to what it was like when we were dating than when we were married and living together. We're kind of getting back to the basics. I think we're starting to see in each other signs of the person we fell in love with.

Getting divorced but staying together isn't for everyone but it works for many couples. Divorce isn't always the answer. This is one alternative.