DIVORCED with CHILDREN

There were no visible faults the new wife had, but she just wasn't ready to 'share' her children with another woman.

They pulled into her ex-husband and his new wife's driveway to their home, and the children wasted no time in rushing into the house to greet their father and stepmother.

She was a bit envious of how well her children reacted to their father's new wife, and she felt that since they liked her, maybe she too, should give this woman a chance.

She soon found out that this woman had a beautiful personality, and like her, had her children's best interests at heart!

It's already difficult for children to see their parents going through a divorce, but it's even more worse, when they have to deal with and adjust to new partners that their parents choose after a divorce. There's no easy way to deal with it, but there are some things that can be done to make these transitions a bit more pleasant .

First off, the parents have to ensure the children that there are no sides to be taken; Both parents should consider that their children feel as if they have to chose sides with their parents. And this is not only unfair, but it generally causes the child to become confused. No child should have to chose between their parents, especially when dealing with or going through a horrible divorce.

Another point, is to not belittle or influence the children to dislike the partners that the other parent has chosen. It's one thing to turn them against your ex, but there's something not right about making them dislike someone who has nothing to do with your divorce.

I've seen it happen so many times; When a parent uses their children to hurt the other parent, and this is not right. Just because you have issues with them, doesn't mean that you should influence your children to feel the same way you do. That child is entitled to his/her own opinion; And it's a horrible personality trait and not forgetting the fact that it's selfish to want that child to dislike their own parent because you don't like them. What you and your spouse is going through may concern the entire family, but it doesn't have to fall as a problem on behalf of the children.

There are counselors available for coping with a divorce, and I'm sure many of them will tell you to be fair and just through your divorce; Try to get to know that new partner. I'm not saying that you should be friends, but at least be polite. After all, why get jealous over something you no longer want anyway? How would you explain your divorce to your children, and would you have a problem with you ex's new partner?