Divorced Moms: Coming to Terms with Never Dating Again
Used Goods - Ready-Made Family Problems
While it has become increasingly acceptable for divorced women, or women with children from previous relationships, to date, there still exists some stigma of 'used goods.' The rude assessment that a woman is somehow less due to having been married to another man in the past is on its way out.
However, it is very true that a divorced Mom is often seen as a no-no in dating. Men do not want to get involved with a woman with children. And who can blame them? There is nothing wrong with not wanting to have a ready-made family.
Raising Children With Specific Morals
Another reason why divorced Moms may give up dating entirely is that they wish to raise their children with specific morals. Of course, this could be religious, or simply as basic as not allowing their children to see them with a string of men.
Divorced moms often pour their entire being into raising their children. They might make a vow with themselves that they will not date again until their children are grown up.
No Time, Energy, or Will
If you think a married woman, possibly working, tending the house, and raising the kids is tired, you can't imagine how a divorced Mom might feel. She has to do it all by herself. Being a divorced Mom may leave no time for dating, or no energy to do it properly.
There is the classic joke of a married woman always being too tired for love-making after a long day's work. This actually happens. Being a Mom is a tiring job, especially if she also works outside of the home. After a long day of work, house work, and taking care of the kids, a divorced Mom might have no time, energy, or will left for dating.
Coming to terms with the fact that you may never date again can be difficult for a divorced Mom. Even if the decision not to date is one you make for yourself, there is still mourning to be done. The shift in self perception occurs in many divorced Moms when they come to terms with never dating again.
Published by Melanie L. Marten
Melanie Marten is self-taught and self-employed. Besides freelance writing, she dabbles in website design and owns dozens of websites and blogs. Work is squeezed in between parenting two boys, homeschoolin... View profile
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- There is no stigma, except for religious ones, associated with being divorced anymore.
- However, it is very true that a divorced Mom is often seen as a no-no in dating.
- Being a divorced Mom may leave no time for dating, or no energy to do it properly.
6 Comments
Post a Commentwhat is wrong with all you people? you owe it to yourself as a single mom to go out there and have a good time. You're a single mom...you're not dead. I love my son to death and he is my number one priority, but there's nothing wrong with getting out there, meeting nice men and having some fun. you need to preserve your sanity and an occasional break as a single divorced parent...so go out there and have a drink with a nice guy. you don't have to marry him, but just have some fun. Just go out and have a good time. Don't overthink it!! Don't allow previous experiences and problems with your child's father to be the thing that deters you from meeting another man or dating. Just because your ex was lousy, doesn't mean there isn't a man out there who wouldn't die to spend an evening in your presence. GO HAVE FUN, LADIES!!!!!!!!
It's great to read an article from this perspective! I'm a single mom by choice (never married to my son's dad, although I was previously divorced from someone else), and I can't imagine ever wanting to date again. My son is by far the most important person in my life, I don't think I will ever have any love, time or need for another man - especially not someone who is going to expect that he will get anywhere near an equal share. No thanks, I've already met the love of my life (in the delivery room, of all places), no-one else need apply.
It's great to read an article from this perspective! I'm a single mom by choice (never married to my son's dad, although I was previously divorced from someone else), and I can't imagine ever wanting to date again. My son is by far the most important person in my life, I don't think I will ever have any love, time or need for another man - especially not someone who is going to expect that he will get anywhere near an equal share. No thanks, I've already met the love of my life (in the delivery room, of all places), no-one else need apply.
Great article. Been divorced 4 years, can't ever imagine marrying again!
Aww I am so with you there. It's tough raising them alone with no help from their dad. I have a boyfriend who likes my children and they like him and for that I am thankful. I am so tired from doing the majority of the housework and all the errands, I do make time for my kids and my boyfriend but it is so hard, and I have little Amy time. I am left exhausted much of the time from splitting my self between two households.
Wow, this should bring you mega PVs, I would think. Very popular subject- Good job!