Divorcee Ian Usher to Sell His Life on Ebay

I'm sure we all remember the piece of toast in the likeness of the Virgin Mary that was sold on Ebay. No less bizarre, however, is the item Ian Usher has decided to put up for sale. Recently divorced, Usher is selling his life: house, beat-up car, even his friends (who will be nice to the winning bidder). According to his website, Usher wants to remove all the reminders of his life with his ex-wife and start over.

Different people have different ways of responding to tragic situations in their lives, but this takes the cake. Usher has taken the idea of "putting the past behind" to an entirely new level. It remains to be seen whether the auction will provide healing for this man, or whether it will just be a reason to avoid his problems. A change so drastic could cause even more serious issues, so it's important to remember some tips before making a giant leap like Usher is attempting.

Moving on often means dealing with emotional reminders. Memories are in your head, not in physical objects. When I first went to college, I thought it would be the perfect way to help me move on from a recently ended relationship. I was in an entirely new environment, reinventing myself and making new friends. But what I didn't realize that, even apart from the immediate reminders of that relationship, my emotions were triggered. Even little things, like a song on the radio, or an expression one of my new friends used, could bring back memories of that relationship. I eventually was able to move on, but after going through a normal grieving process just like everyone else. Completely selling your life may not be the perfect solution, and everyone needs to realize that the heartache will be just as painful even if they are removed from their original environment. While wallowing in a past life is very unhealthy, the ability to confront those memories and deal with that pain is important for healing.

Friends can be a tremendous help during a tough situation. Granted, sometimes your friends can just remind you of your ex. However, it's very important to have someone to talk to who understands you and who is willing to have you dump your problems on them. If you remove yourself from that friend base, it can be very difficult to cope. So, selling your friends may not be the best idea.

(Although, I am curious to see what creepy person is so lonely as to "buy" the guy's friends, but that's a separate issue.)

Small, gradual change can be more healing than one drastic change. If you completely change your life after dealing with a rough situation, you run the risk of dealing with pain while being out of your comfort zone, which can be very difficult to deal with. So, make some smaller changes first. Take up a new and exciting hobby. Go on a trip to somewhere you've never been before. Make some new memories. Just don't do it all at once.

Seek counseling. I know seeing a shrink can feel scary and demeaning, but they do have some good advice when it comes to dealing with divorce and other issues. They can also warn you about the dangers of making drastic change in your life before you do something you regret.

Seek spiritual guidance. Having a solid spiritual foundation goes a long way in coping with disaster. I'm always comforted by the story of Job in the Bible, whose entire family and livelihood were destroyed, yet his faith in God kept him strong. I am comforted by the fact that, with all the chaos in my life, there is a God in control that never changes. "Cast your cares on the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall." (Psalm 55:22) Dramatic change on the outside often cannot change the pain that still exists in the soul. The soul needs to be healed before you can move on.