Do the I's Have It?

When I was in my 20's, I knew everything (or at least that's what I'd told myself). While in my 30's, I decided to make wisdom my best friend so that I didn't repeat my 20's all over again. I like to think that I'm a pretty decent person, but one thing that I honestly can't stand is an excuse. I try not to make excuses for myself and when those in my circle share excuses, I make it my duty to challenge them. You see in my mind, excuses sometimes mask the truth and give way to comfort. While serving as a leader, I not only recognized that my direct reports were capable, but they had more in common with me than they realized. Our common struggles revolved around identity, inadequacies, and intimidation.

I have my own identity and am becoming comfortable in my own skin. However, I have struggled with the same question for most of my adult life. That question is, "Who am I?" The reason I haven't been able to fully respond to this question is because I've changed over the years and the reality is- I'm still changing! I have an inward struggle and have wrestled with my identity in the past, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. The name of the light is called acceptance; I am accepting the things about me that I can't change. Sometimes as a leader, I didn't feel qualified. I didn't obtain a college degree 4 years after attending high school, so I questioned myself even when those around me didn't. Acceptance without excuses has helped me with my identity as well as the feeling of being inadequate.

Regardless of who you are or where you come from, everyone has a common denominator and it is called imperfection. Everyone struggles with something and everyone has at least one area of opportunity, which can make you feel inadequate. I have questioned my abilities and my qualifications, but I never leave those questions unanswered. When I start to ask myself whether or not I have what it takes to get the job done, I reply with honesty. If the answer is yes, I continue to complete the desired goal, but if the answer is no, I incorporate what it takes to get the job done. Sometimes relying on the strength of others is necessary when overcoming inadequacies. I've learned that assistance from others doesn't take anything away from who I am as a person and there certainly is strength in numbers.

Asking those around me to help was something that I learned to do. One of the reasons that I didn't like to depend on others is because I felt like they couldn't accomplish the task like "Ericka". The other reason that I didn't ask is because I was afraid that I would hear "no" after I'd made myself vulnerable by asking for help. Intimidation allowed me to become more concerned with the reaction to the question rather than the outcome of the situation. I was able to overcome intimidation by understanding that there are people who have strengths that I don't have and vice versa. The best teams are those who are diverse in talents, abilities, etc. not those who are made up of people who do one thing exceptionally well. I learned to take pride in asking my direct reports for help because they had more knowledge in some areas of the business than I did. As a leader, that can be hard to admit, but it was liberating for me when I finally did.

Excuses hinder effectiveness and the only way to combat them is to search inward. I had to stop letting the I's impede progress and I hope that you will evaluate your identity, your inadequacies, and what intimidates you so that you can discover your best self. Your career needs you at your best and so do those around you.

More from this contributor:

3 Things That Enhanced My Career

How I Respond To Workplace Change