Do Expectations in Marriage Change Over the Years

In the early years of marriage the only expectations we had were that the next meal came out edible, along with the next escapade in the bedroom. But then reality begins to set in, and you're left wondering exactly how long this marriage thing is really going to last.

Mental Expectations

What we expected from our marriage in the beginning, and what we receive is completely two different things. Our expectations of our family are now being logged into the vastness of the mind. Now when situations detour from our expected outcome, the result is quite mind boggling.

Marriage is all about adapting to its many diverse stages of development. First you have material expectations such as: a new car; nice home, and a big screen TV. Then a child enters the picture from somewhere, and the whole ball game changes.

Now all of your expectations are about the child. Thousands of worries and thoughts fill the brain as the months slowly pass by. Another stage of change is just around the corner whether you realize it or not.

Peaceful Expectations

And now the child has arrived, and your only hope or expectation is for some much needed sleep. All through the early years of child development expectations of the child's future seems to hang in the balance of your mind. Soon you begin to realize that everything eventually happens all on its own, whether you expect it or not.

Time moves on and you begin to take for granted small things such as: the smile on the face of your spouse when you arrive home late for dinner. You also expect to watch your favorite television show, not some show about how to transform your home into the next White House on Pennsylvania Ave.

Soon with teenagers living in the home the only thing you hope for now is just some peace and quiet; this usually never comes. Soon you begin to live your life expecting the worst and hoping for the best. Now is the time of life when patience seems to be an answer to prayer.

Changed Expectations

Then as you begin to grow older you start to look at your life and marriage, and begin to evaluate things from a different perspective. You realize now that what you hoped and expected in your marriage at first is not even remotely in the picture anymore. What happened to all of my expectations? Did I miss the boat somewhere through the struggle of life?

Now after 25 years of marriage the only thing I expect is that the phone solicitors will still call; even though we were put on the "no call" list. I also expect to pay taxes again next year whether we want to or not. Everything else is still up for grabs.

I do expect that the love of our marriage will endure the hard times ahead, and that our children will grow up to be smarter and more self sufficient than we ever expected. Marriage has taught me to live in the moment, not in the future.

Peace of Mind

Anything that happens now unexpected is a gift, and definitely appreciated all the more. You begin to realize that what you expected and worried about in the beginning is now not even a passing thought. You understand that what you expected in the beginning was only just a small particle of the joy you received. Now you realize that most of your expectations or worries of failure were just a figment of your imagination.

Every relationship and marriage is different. Most of my expectations have been met many times over, plus many opportunities which couldn't have been foreseen. Now I understand that we eventually get what we need, not what we expected.