Do Helicopter Parents Help or Harm Kids?

I spent three years working in higher education and was amazed at this new concept called "helicopter parenting." Helicopter parents, as the name implies, tend to hover over their children, particularly when it comes to education. Even when the child protests, helicopter parents try to allay any harm coming to their child, even preventing them from learning from mistakes.

The stories of such helicopter parents were mostly amusing, but at times even appalling. They ranged from parents calling to discuss why a student earned poor grades to scheduling a student's entire semester of courses to appearing on a student's behalf in judicial proceedings for rule-breaking.

I recall a student who was arrested by the local police department for possession of narcotics, and the parent appealed directly to the president of the college after his son was expelled from school. (Thankfully, this parent's pleas fell on deaf ears.)

I taught a week-long class at a local college and was surprised at how much this helicopter parenting has harmed students academically.

They no longer think for themselves. It was nearly impossible to get one original thought out of these kids' minds. Open-ended discussion in class was highly unlikely. These students were brought up to memorize and regurgitate. Broaching an opinion was taboo because of fear that they'd say a wrong answer, not realizing that it wasn't about right or wrong but about enlightenment.

These products of helicopter parents also have a sense of entitlement. Their parents tend to treat them more like a precious investment, always expecting their child to be the best. This translates over to the child, who suddenly believes that he or she will always be the best.

In an effort to make their kid the best and brightest, helicopter parents have scheduled every hour of their child's day from birth. These children seem to be involved in such a wide assortment of activities, like sports, student government, music lessons and so on, that they don't have the capacity to really dedicate themselves and become exceptional at it. Instead, they become a jack of all trades, a master of none.

This became a real problem at the small school I worked for, where it was the same small group of kids involved in all the activities. But they were so overextended, they couldn't do justice to any of the leadership positions they held. Ultimately, the student organizations suffered, as did the students' overall experience. They had plenty to list on a resume, but hadn't really learned much to take with them into the job market.

Furthermore, helicopter parents push their children into an overwhelming dependency. Instead of learning to deal with conflict and challenges on their own, they instantly call to mom and dad to solve problems for them. There have even been cases where parents have stepped in to begin salary negotiations for a recent college grad's first job out of school!

I had the opposite experience as a student. I was somewhat left to my own devices, and other than the friendly "nagging" from my mother occasionally, I was expected to deal with my own problems after I went away to school.

I had to learn all about the college process, from applying for financial aid to setting up appointments with professors to registering for classes each semester. The upside is that now, as an adult, even if I don't immediately know how to solve my problems, I know how to go through a process to find the answers. At minimum, I know who to ask or where to go to get help.

I also have a strong sense of identity with my own opinions, and I know how to stand up for myself.

Helicopter parents need to stop and think twice before ruling with an iron fist over their kids' lives. Eventually, parents, you will be gone. And who will be there to take care of little Johnny and Suzie then, seeing as you haven't taught them to take care of themselves?