Do Homeschooled Kids Grow Up to Be Social Misfits?

As a homeschooling family, the most frequently asked question that we encounter is "What about socialization?" My initial reaction is an urge to laugh. Then slight irritation that so many people are brainwashed to the point that they cannot seem to critically think effectively enough to realize that living in the real world is the truest kind of socialization there is.

The very idea that trapping a bunch of kids in a room full of other kids their own age qualifies as "socialization" is laughable. Merriam-Webster m-w.com defines socialization as:

1: to make social; especially: to fit or train for a social environment

Now, think about that for a minute: "to train for a social environment". We as parents and educators are attempting to raise our children to be productive adults who are able to function effectively in society. What society do you know of that is made up entirely of people who are roughly the same age? More importantly, do we really want our unformed, impressionable children "socialized" by other kids their own age? On a limited, supervised basis, yes. On a daily basis, spending 8 hours per day and sometimes more if involved in sports or other extracurricular activities, with kids the same age, all taking part in the same damaging mass-schooling rituals, all with the same vulnerability to peer influence? Sounds much more socially enriching than living daily life in the real world, doesn't it?

On a similar note, another argument I hear often is "homeschooled kids aren't exposed to a wide variety of ideas and cultures, only to those their parents approve of". Firstly, absolutely - my children will only be exposed to what I feel they should be at any given age. That is my job as a parent - to raise them how I - not the media, not the government, not the NEA - see fit. Secondly, children in a mass-education setting are typically in the company of children of similar cultural and social status. Unless they are in private school, children go to school with those who live in close geographical proximity, which usually results in classes being made up of children of similar backgrounds (though not always, of course).

Conversely, my children go everywhere with me. They talk with the Chaldean owners of the corner store when they go down to get candy. They're friends with the African American and Latino-African kids on our block. They go to the doctor with me and talk to everyone there. They are in contact with a wide variety of people and experience so much more of "society" than if they spent five days per week inside a building full of other kids their age.

In addition to just living everyday life, most areas have organized homeschool groups. There is no lack of activities from which to choose on a weekly basis. There are park days, field trips, pizza parties, museum trips, playdates, mom's night out, and everything in between. If we attended all the events that are posted, we wouldn't have time to do any schoolwork! To locate a homeschool group in your area, go to http://www.localhs.com

As if logic wasn't enough, the research verifies what homeschooling parents have known for years. Homeschooled kids not only typically excel academically and are much more focused in their study habits in college than their public schooled counterparts, but their "socialization" doesn't suffer for having missed out on mass-education.

J. Gary Knowles, University of Michigan Assistant Professor of Education, released a study done at the University of Michigan which found that teaching children at home will not make them social misfits. According to Knowles: "I think a lot of this stuff (about high school) is mythology, that maybe we've got a whole lot of falsehoods associated with schooling. We have all these weird rites of passage that are deemed important and many are quite dysfunctional."

Knowles found homeschoolers to have a high "self-concept" (in other words, the basis for self-esteem), as well as being more self-reliant and focused. "They're able to move into adulthood with a much better sense of self and have a very good sense as to what they want to do," he said.

In addition, a large 2003 study by Dr. Brian Ray of over 7000 adults who had been homeschooled showed stark, but not surprising, results. The study demonstrated that a higher percentage of homeschooled adults go to college than their public-schooled peers, are more involved in their communities and are happier overall with life.

Still, criticism will persist by those whom are either uncomfortable and defensive with their own choices, or those who wish to have all children under the influence of the government curriculum. The beauty is that the proof of homeschooling is in the adults it produces, and this will continue to speak for itself.