Do You Have to Invite Coworkers to Your Wedding?

One of the most nerve-wracking activities for any couple planning a wedding is deciding on the guest list. Most wedding articles, books and experts suggest that the guest list is one of the first tasks to accomplish. Knowing how many you plan to invite is an important component to establishing a workable budget, choosing a venue and other important decisions. Is it necessary to invite coworkers? Can you just invite the ones you like or do you have to invite them all? What are the politics of combining coworkers and a wedding?

It is important to remember that in theory, you have complete control over your wedding guest list. Of course, anyone who has ever gotten married in any sort of ceremony knows that there is inevitable input, scrutiny and suggestions from friends and family. There are no rules that say you HAVE to invite anyone, so if you can start there, you may feel that you have the ultimate control over the people you invite.

When it comes to coworkers, consider the reality of the wedding day event you hope to create. Do you want anyone you've ever known to be in attendance? If you are planning something small or intimate, or with just family and friends (or just CLOSE family and friends,) then it is perfectly reasonable to leave coworkers off the list. You might consider having a separate reception or party where others are invited but remember that you can't really invite people to a shower and then NOT to the wedding. It is just bad form.

What happens if you want to invite one or two coworkers with whom you are particularly close, but not everyone? This can take some delicacy. If you work in a huge corporation, then it will be understandable if you only invite a couple of your closest work peers, if it is a small business you may need to consider if it is better to keep the peace and your reputation and invite everyone, or to try to figure out how to quietly invite one or two people without extending an overall invite.

Remember your manners and try to be considerate, even as you are explaining that it is a "small wedding" or that you and your fiancé are striving to keep it "intimate." You won't want to burn any bridges but it is also likely your marriage will outlast your workplace.