Do You Know an HIV or AIDS Bugchaser?

As a former HIV / AIDS case manager for people living with AIDS, December 1st inspires me to remember how many clients and friends I've witnessed die from a disease we KNOW how NOT to spread. Today, as World AIDS Day comes to pass, I'm saddened to watch a rising of trend within HIV / AIDS circles. The trend I speak of is known as bugchasers and gift-givers.

Time for a couple quick definitions:

Bugchasers are largely HIV negative gay men (men who are generally in good health) who purposefully seek out HIV positive men to engage in unprotected sexual acts in the hopes of contracting the HIV virus.

Gift-givers are largely HIV positive men often living with AIDS who have no problem consciously sharing HIV to those who seek to attract an HIV positive status. First and foremost, this issue challenges one of our most divine gifts, the gift of choice.

Granted, as a gay man, I have no choice in my sexual orientation. However, as a gay man, I can consciously choose how I enjoy one of life's most sacred acts - LOVE. How I share my love with another man in all forms, includes my ability to choose the art of practicing safe sex.

Given my background, my personal and professional life forms a profound paradox.

On the professional level, I have no right to impose my personal choices on my clients. I would not want any professional to impose their personal beliefs on me.

On a personal level, my heart sinks to new levels of sadness each time I learn of a healthy, happy person who purposefully intends to contract an illness they CAN AVOID!

Over the years, I as I observe healthy, conscious beings actively seeking to become HIV positive, I notice the following trends (also mentioned in academic and popular research):

* Ads promoting HIV / AIDS pharmaceuticals always show happy, (what seem to be) healthy guys looking like they're having a blast. I've yet to see advertisements for HIV / AIDS related drugs featuring someone wasting away in ICU with days to go before their death.

* People expecting to be taken care of when illness strikes (e.g., successfully apply for and receive government funds to enable permanent poverty status to continue to receive those benefits.) Why work if you can get by on disability - right? Note: this entitlement issue spans far beyond the HIV / AIDS community.

* Reduction of anxiety around contracting HIV. "Let's just get this over with" sort of mentality.

* A complete unawareness that for every person living with HIV or AIDS, there's a different strain of HIV or AIDS. Bugchasers seem to think there's "just one bug" to be found. Each time a NEW HIV or AIDS virus is introduced into someone living with HIV or AIDS, yet ANOTHER strain of virus is born.

To reduce the rise of Bugchaser trends, I challenge active bug chasers to consider actively experiencing what they wish to live with BEFORE becoming infected with HIV or AIDS. How? Simple! Volunteer to be an HIV or AIDS Buddy for a person who faces death from HIV or AIDS within the next three months. True, we're all on a march to our graves. Those living with HIV or AIDS are sprinting to their graves. For anyone who classifies themselves as a bugchaser or giftgiver - PLEASE make an informed decision as to what you seek to attract. Once you actively, personally, daily support someone who is a few months away from death related to complications of HIV or AIDS.

You clean them up daily. You feed them daily. You wipe their bums, help them blow their noses and mop-up their accidents when they don't have you around to help them. You listen to their regrets. You FEEL a heart connection with them as they die.

IF after experiencing someone you've cared for, someone you love - die from HIV or AIDS, and you STILL wish to contract HIV or AIDS - at least you're making a more informed choice.

Now, as a society faced with limited resources yet also face with infinite needs, the question turns to, "How do we respond to such choices?" Do we blame the victim by punishing them? (Aren't they already receiving the most extreme form of punishment we can give - an early death!) Do we seek out the roots of this issue? (Ending prejudice, allow same-sex oriented people to live in peace?) Or do we just shake our heads, grin and deal with it?

On this day of remembrance of AIDS worldwide, I beg each and every bugchaser and giftgiver to stop and FEEL (not THINK) the results of your choices. If you're at peace with what you feel, there's a few more steps to take. Ask your mother, your father, your partner, your friends (anyone you love) how they feel about you actively choosing to die from HIV or AIDS. May you make wiser choices based on how you feel, NOT what you think.