Do You Have a Marriage Without Sex?

andra picincu
The reasons why people stop having sex in a relationship are varied. Many couples don't realize that the problems they have will be the same even if they get married, being even exacerbated by their love life.

Those issues, if not resolved, end by separating the couple in the bedroom. You might think that a couple has a perfect marriage without knowing that, behind the closed doors, the partners don't have an intimate relationship.

In other cases, people get married although the sex was never so great, but they are convinced that their partner is "the one", so they consider a relationship without good sex as being satisfactory. Only when they realize that they are connected one to another, the sex becomes a real problem.

The reasons are many and varied from case to case, but what counts for a couple is to realize the importance of intimacy in a marriage.

Here are some clues that your marriage presents some risk factors:

- A gradual decrease in the number of sex parties for a certain period of time (occurs when things like your job, children, and preferences affect the sexual life);

- A partner who asks or initiates constantly sex games while the other always finds excuses not to do it.

- A partner might begin to make comparisons like "I noticed that other women wear sexy lingerie on bed" or "Other women wear tanga". Usually, this is a statement that refers to something general, but in reality men think to a certain person when they say it, to someone they find attractive or someone they are in love with.

- The couple doesn't go to bed at the same time on a regular basis - one of them stays at the computer, TV, etc

- The two partners stop flirting with one another as they were doing at the beginning of their relationship;

But can a marriage return to the days full of passionate sex? It is certainly a challenge, because there is already a history between you and more frustration, but there are some things you can do:

- Search for help. In order to be able to find a balance, you need the intervention of a person from the outside, somebody who can be objective, such as a marital counselor.

- Assume the responsibility. It depends on you to keep constantly the romantic feeling. The nights spent in intimacy at home or in the city are the ideal solution for married couples (especially for those who have children), dates that should end in the bedroom.

- Add some spice. If the sex is boring, use fantasies and the role play to make things more interesting. Be creative and don't judge your partner's desires and fantasies. Of course, the partners have to be opened to these games.

- The sexual relationship can be improved even by changing the normal place where you have sex. The partners can start to know each other again, step by step.

Sources: marriage.about.com/.../living-without-sex.htm, ezinearticles.com/?...Marriage-Without-Sex?&... , www.beliefnet.com/.../Marriage/Is-Marriage-Without-Sex-Really-A-Marriage.aspx

Published by andra picincu

I am a freelance writer/ copywriter with a background in marketing and psychology. After working for three years for well established companies, I have developed excellent editing, researching and writing sk...  View profile

6 Comments

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  • First4/2/2012

    i was sexually abused as a young child and thereore sex has always been a scary thing for me. 15 years into my marriage i still didnt trust my husband fully with my body, always afraid he would hurt me, physically or emotionally. found out he was looking at ALOT of porn behind my back and i really had ne idea how many people were in bed with us,,,,,no wonder he was always distracted. we seperated then and got back together after alot of hard work over a 2 year period. i have to say the last couple of years i have finally realized what intimacy and sex are supposed to be.....it was awesome!!! then i noticed that same distant feeling a couple of months ago, and you got it, the other women are back in our bedroom. i love him and dont want a divorce, or to be with anyone else, but i cant go back to something cheap and sleezy after having what we had, so i have decided no more sex. i have given him the option to leave if he wants, or even have sex outside the mariage as long as i dont know about it. thing is, im not sure this is going to work. anyone else have a similiar situation who would give me some advice?
    thanks

  • wiggens10/26/2011

    Yes our marriage has been without sex for almost 30 years. My wife is boring and a prude in the sex department. There fore years ago I decided I was going to shut off sex. She wasn't happy and still isn't, but thats her problem , she should find other ways to satisy her need, just don't involve me

  • hi1/13/2011

    I had sex with my wife and had two kids . But coming to 46 only i feel that I donot have sex probably as I am divorced. what will be remedy for this. This is only a feeling and even I did not try with one.
    ray

  • Bozidar Djordjevic1/30/2010

    I am an elderly resident in a retirement home but I long for a longer relationship. There are remedies for sexual dysfunction, but primarily I seek companionship. What is your advise?

  • andra picincu7/17/2009

    No, I don't want to say that. It's about those couples who don't consider this from the beginning. I know that there are persons who have a special situation.

  • Carol Roach7/16/2009

    I am sorry this article does not apply to all couples, older people for one, people who are sick, is another, people who cannot have sex because of an accident or whatever, sorry as a 54 year old woman I can tell you that sex is only a part of a marriage, if you think it is everythign, you will find that you will be divorced really fast.

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