Do Men Actually Believe They Can Conduct Coherent Conversations When They're Drinking?

Can someone please explain to me how men actually believe they can conduct coherent conversations when they are drinking? It totally baffles the mind! They come home with their fly open; eyes are rolling around in their head. They have crusty shot breath and nothing but dribble when they speak. The whole time trying to pick a fight over something that happened three days earlier. So when you get mad because they did not have the courtesy to call and tell you that they were going out with the guys. They think that you have no business getting mad at them because they are already mad at you for something that happened days ago. I am telling you if there is ever a time that I feel like punching a man in the face, this definitely rates in the top ten.

For those mornings after, when you have not heard from them since the afternoon before. They come home looking like they were hanging out in a flop house of trash, doing God knows what and they smell as if they were squatting in the trunk of a burning automobile all night. I suggest you clean the house. Yes clean the house. You begin about twenty minutes after they have put their head down on the pillow. Turn on the stereo max power and run the vacuum. Take on a home improvement task and bang on a few of the walls with a hammer or rearrange some furniture. Continue doing this until the house looks beautiful. By this time you will be somewhat satisfied with your leave it to beaver approach to the situation and very happy with results of your hard work.

Just remember you can always make him feel like a jerk in the morning when you laugh in his face and tell him what a total fool he is. Now that is what I call gratification.