Do You Push Your Children Too Far or Not Enough?

Many people fail to find the balance between doing too much and doing too little involving their children. Maybe they find the balance, but they still do not recognize it and worry that they should be backing off more or getting more involved.

Over scheduling. Though there are many ways of determining what over scheduling is, the simplest definition is that your child does not have control over what activities they do first. Your child should, in part, be in control of their schedule so that they at least have a choice of which parts of the day are free for doing whatever they want to, such as afternoons or evenings. An over scheduled child will not have more than one hour in the day for free time. Keep in mind that they must spend plenty of time on homework and family time, so this must be taken into consideration.

Too high of expectations. A child may not be over "scheduled" per se, but over "worked." It is great that they have many talents and that you want to see that they fulfill all of them. However, they will get more out of their skills and out of life if they develop one or two skills at a time. They can change skills every year, but certain things like musical instruments and sports should be retained for two or three years in order to get the full benefit of the time and experience.

What indicates under-achieving behavior? Laziness and slothfulness are the two biggest indicators. When your child wants to watch television rather than going outside and playing or when they do their chores slowly and tiredly, then they may be indulging in a little under achievement. This can typically be changed by offering good role models and proper peer inspiration. Do activities with them, model efficient behavior, make play dates with high energy, highly productive children and try not to nag them too much. Nagging rarely brings results, but offering them an alternative behavior almost always does.

Help them and find out. One of the best ways to determine if your child is too busy or not busy enough is to walk a mile in their shoes. Without saying a word, pay attention to everything they do and help them with every single bit of their homework. Sometimes, perspective is all that is needed. You might find that they are sorely over worked or that they need a little more discipline or variety of interest in their lives. But one thing to remember: you are not in a position to pass judgment until you do put yourself in their place.

In this hyperactive world, it is easy to be tilted off balance when it comes to activities for your children. Help to keep things in perspective by allotting school time, family time and free time and then seeing just how much time is left over for all of your planned activities. Days spent indoors rather than outside can indicate not being active enough. Whatever the case, being aware of their world will help you to plan it more wisely.

Sources:

http://dkrobus.newsvine.com/_news/2009/04/04/2641052-when-parents-push-children-to-succeed-how-far-is-too-far?category=sports