Do You Really Care About "I Know Who Killed Me?"

First off, I went to the movie theater on its opening night not to see this, but to see "The Simpsons." Unfortunately for myself, I walked into a theater full of screaming infants and toddlers throwing things at the screen, so I left and walked into see this Lindsay Lohan crapfest. Before I go into the actual content of the movie, I feel the need to go on a little rant about Lohan.

I first saw her in "The Parent Trap, " which was a cute but forgettable remake about twins separated at birth who find each other. You could tell throughout the movie that this girl was cute and her red hair would be a huge asset growing up. She was 12 when this came out. 5 years later, she came out with 3 movies relatively close together that foreshadowed who she would become. First she played a rebellious teenager who switched bodies with her mom in Freaky Friday, and followed that up with a movie about her being a drama queen and then she portrayed her future self in the awesome and hilarious film Mean Girls.

It was around this time I started hearing things about her. She started appearing on the news as a drunk, and seen at parties with the woman who was famous for no reason at all Paris Hilton. She turned to coke, and losts lots of weight. She dyed her hair, and turned into a prissy bitch. She turned into everything I hated about child stars. But, I still thought she was gorgeous.

When I heard about this movie, I assumed it was going to be a piece of crap and I didn't care, because I love going to the movies. What I got was not just a piece of crap; It was a movie that combined lots of other movies. It was if the writer of this movie thought it would be a good idea to combine The Parent Trap, Hostel, Varsity Blues, and The Bionic Woman. The movie didn't scare me, but it made me laugh.

Not to horribly spoil it or anything, but she plays a twin with sympathy pains who gets a bionic arm and beats the hell out of her sisters torturer. They introduced the scheming murderer in the first scene or two of the movie, and he seemed incredibly weird and sketchy but then you didn't see him until the end. Why anyone would want to see this movie aside from the scenes where Lohan is playing a crazy bleeding exotic dancer is beyond me.